The Robot Restoration
by Miss Carmeli
Summary: Robot Amy returns. Set after season 7 finale. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**The Robot Restoration**

They thought she was the female Sheldon but actually she was worse. Pre-Sheldon Amy was an automaton: pragmatic, logical and acutely oblivious to emotions. Years of social isolation, brought about by a variety of factors-parental overprotection, incessant school bullying, and unusually high intellect-caused her brain to wire that way.

As she got older, it became her conscious choice to stick to with this robotic persona since it was easy, comfortable and, most importantly, safe.

Then Sheldon came, breaching her defenses. She discovered that life isn't just an uneventful, repetitive course of entropy, decay and eventual death. She saw a chance at happiness and, for the first time, she found herself willing to risk it.

She met his friends and stumbled upon a social group that accepted her and even embraced her peculiarities. They introduced her to their world and made her experience new things. She allowed herself to be vulnerable. She fell in love and started caring for others. In return, she was rewarded with friendship and affection. It was all worth it. Until now.

Sheldon not only mocked her dreams, he also insulted her when he left without an acknowledgment that he had done her wrong. She apparently didn't even matter enough to deserve a proper goodbye. She was outraged but, mostly, she was scared.

Will he come back? Will he ever change for her the same way she changed for him? Will their friends continue to care for her now they that they have their own important milestones to think of?

A lot of questions bothered her. This was exactly the instability she was avoiding from the beginning. Before, the questions were easier to repress but, after Sheldon ran off, she learned that she was just fooling herself.

She just couldn't risk it anymore. Without realizing it, her fears crept and spread inside her, burying all her hopes for love, family and friendship.

Stealthily, gradually, robot Amy was resurrected.

Penny and Bernadette were the first ones to notice it. They were at Penny's place for girls' night. After laying down the food and wine goblets in front of the television, Penny started pouring wine for her girlfriends. Then, she saw something in Amy's eyes.

Or, more accurately, she saw nothing in Amy's eyes. Gone was the sparkle, the brightness that brought life to the pale face that belonged to her bestie. In its place, Penny realized that, if emptiness can be seen rather than felt, her eyes would provide the perfect exhibit.

Penny didn't notice that she had stopped her activity. She was nailed to her place, clutching the open wine bottle. Those cold, vacant eyes sent chills down her spine.

So, this is how the undead looks like, she thought. Those series the guys watch were no match to the zombie she saw right before her at that moment. Amy has either turned to a vampire, a zombie or a whitewalker. Penny shivered at the thought. She has to stop spending so much time watching those shows with Leonard.

Bernadette's voice pulled her back to reality. "Penny, are you alright?"

"Ahm, yes. I'm fine. Wine?" She said. Bernadette nodded. After filling her glass, Penny hesitantly approached Amy, who was sitting straight beside her petite friend. "Amy, wine?"

She saw those scary emerald eyes turned to her.

"Tepid water please," Amy replied. "I'm afraid I have to forego alcohol from now on. I would not willingly participate in the impairment of my mental faculties anymore. Over time, I'm sure alcohol consumption will only decrease my intellectual acuity. That's just based on my cursory observation of the two of you and the decline in your abilities to make sound judgment personally and professionally in the past years."

The detached, monotonous delivery did not make her statement any less sharp. "Amy, that's a little harsh, don't you think?" said Bernadette.

"Not at all. If I was being harsh, I would sugarcoat the situation and say your frequent alcohol consumption has made you advance your career in microbiology and Penny's in acting. But since I am being an honest friend here, I am telling you outright that this and your other girly activities have stunted your professional growth. You are slaving under a pharmaceutical company and Penny's work is non-existent...Would you like me to continue? Because the personal aspects of your lives are even more grim, if you think of it. Upon contemplation—"

Penny cut her off. "No. No, Amy that's fine. We appreciate your bluntness." She said discreetly signaling to Bernadette that she should just refrain from commenting. Something is amiss with Amy and they both know what.

After putting on the DVD, Penny dragged Bernadette to her room, leaving Amy on the couch. She was just sitting there, her hands on her lap. Her eyes fixed on the television.

"Did you see her eyes?" Penny asked Bernadette.

"I did. She's scary. And mean."

"I've seen that look before. She's walling up. When I first met her, she has that look on her face. But when she started going out with Sheldon, it slowly disappeared. God, we cannot let he go back to that state, where we have to hide inside my apartment when the Shamy was around" Penny said, visibly worried.

"I agree but there is very little we can do. Like you said, only Sheldon can poke holes through those iron defenses. Until he comes back, there simply is no opening for us to build on…but I guess we can try. She is our friend after all."

"Yeah. Boy, this is not gonna be easy."

They went back to the living room. Amy is still there in the position they left her. Penny and Bernadette shared knowing glances, breathed in, and put on smiles on their faces. "Here we go, Penny."


	2. Chapter 2

Penny's mind was somewhere else; he was sure of it. They were snuggled on the couch, watching The Hobbit for the nth time but her I-don't-get-this-movie face was nowhere to be found. Leonard paused the DVD and turned to her.

"You're still thinking about Amy, aren't you?"

"If you were with us in the mall, you wouldn't forget it either," she said.

"I already had my share of traumatic moments with Sheldon. You're lucky 'cause when we met you, he was already showing signs that he was human…I don't know, maybe it's your time to take that test with his better robot half," he replied, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Oh, this is probably what my horoscope was saying last month. When one aspect of my life goes perfectly well, another will fall spectacularly apart." She sighed and put her head on Leonard's shoulders. "I'm so happy were getting married and my brother has dodged another meth charge but now two of my closest friends are struggling with life issues. One has run away to God-knows-where and the other has reverted to her defensive safe mode."

"Just look at it this way. Sheldon ran away not to escape but to sort things out for himself, which is a good thing. And Amy…is one of the most patient persons I've ever known. Think of how she survived all these years with Sheldon. She is an amazing and strong woman and you know that she will get through this. All we can do is be there for the two of them while they deal with their issues.

"If you prefer to still look at it from some psychic's opinion, then let me tell you this. Everything will fall into its proper place eventually. So stop worrying. Okay?" Leonard said.

She looked up at Leonard and gave him a smile. He truly was the perfect person for her. He knew how to comfort her and make her happy. "Thank you," she said and kissed him lightly on the lips. They resumed watching the movie. As she found herself once again faced with the gentle folks of the Shire, Penny's mind drifted back to what transpired at the mall earlier that day.

Penny and Bernadette noticed that Amy was becoming more and more distant each day. The other night, she refused to go dancing with them. Last week, she missed dinners with the gang. She immersed herself in a lot of work lately and barely allowed herself some social activities.

That day, they decided to persuade her to visit the mall and check out a new shop for underwears. Amy used to love those. They remembered how fascinated she was when they introduced her to the front-closure bra. After about forty-five minutes of reasoning, they managed to get her out of the lab and into the mall.

Bernadette was showing Amy a reversible bra when Penny spotted a sexy, edible panty on the shop. Ever the romantic when it comes to sex, Penny walked to look at that corner of the shop. She knew Leonard would be pleasantly surprised if she got one of those. She held up and inspected a sample.

Amy slightly frowned at the sight of what Penny had in her hand. She looked straight at the product with a puzzled look on her face and asked, "what is that?"

Penny giggled, at least she got her attention. "Sweetie," she pointed out confidently and winked, "this is an edible underwear."

Amy wasn't amused. Her eyebrows got closer together but her expression remained clinical, like she was trying to figure out an unfamiliar specimen under the microscope.

"You know, for sexy time," Penny continued.

"Oh, I have read about cunnilingus and fellatio. As if the traditional method of coitus isn't already enigmatic in itself, I must admit that those two other techniques flummox me. I couldn't wrap my head around the idea of how putting one's mouth near orifices where body waste pass through could induce pleasure or could aid in the process of reproduction. If anything, engaging in such techniques can only increase the risk for infection and the transmission of diseases.

"And now you're telling me, there is another element to it: The ingestion of that edible material along with bodily fluids coming from the most unclean parts of the human body, where urine or feces are excreted. That is indeed a curious, if not troubling, practice." Amy replied.

Penny cringed at Amy's statement. "Gee, thanks for ruining oral sex for me."

Bernadette came to the rescue. "Well, Amy, how did you envision doing the deed with Sheldon?"

The neurobiologist was taken aback by the question. She vaguely recalled being giddy over the possibility of engaging in intercourse with Sheldon, but that felt like a lifetime ago. She tried to imagine Sheldon but, for some reason, she couldn't conjure images of him and her being intimate.

The idea—her previous fantasies—appeared so far-fetched now. Or maybe just blocked, locked somewhere inaccessible.

"Fortunately, I am pair-bonded with an advanced and brilliant man who finds the concept of coitus off-putting."

Oh my God, Penny mouthed to Bernadette, who turned to Amy and asked. "Don't you feel like your loins are on fire with Sheldon anymore?"

Those were her own words, Amy thought. Somehow, it sounded strange to her now for why and how would she ever react that way to a person. Perhaps she was ill during those periods. Yes, that could be it.

"I don't. It turns out Sheldon was right all along about coitus." She said. "Additionally, if I ever feel the need for sexual release, I could simply do electronic simulation of the pleasure centers of the brain to achieve orgasm. I've also discarded Gerard, the electronic toothbrush, as that approach takes time and, frankly, is also unsanitary."

Penny and Bernie weren't sure how to react and just nodded. They were shocked at Amy's regression but they decided not to push the topic further. It's probably better leave that task to Sheldon. Hopefully, he can ignite Amy's passion and desire back upon his return.

"Come on, bestie. Let's go get you that front-closure bra that you wanted. I saw one over there with a geeky design and excellent support on the sides." Penny said, trying to sound upbeat.

Sheldon better be goddamn irresistible when he comes back, she thought.

_[Sheldon in the next chapters. Soon.]_


	3. Chapter 3

She was with the company of a thousand friends, as her mother described it. Amy smirked and shook her head; the woman was full of fun lies and this was a particularly blatant one.

Jigsaw puzzle could not be compared to a thousand friends because it's way, way better.

She laid down the pieces on the table in her living room and started to inspect the tiny, fragmented images. She smiled to herself. After that fatuous lunchtime chitchat with Leonard, Howard and Raj that day, this was exactly what she needed.

The guys were tedious. But, she acknowledged the importance of social interaction to one's holistic development, so in order to ensure her psychological well-being, Amy forced herself to have lunch with them twice a week. Besides, with Sheldon gone, she felt obligated to aid in the maintenance of the social group's cohesion as their lynchpin. Obviously, there was no one better to assume that role as she was the most advanced among them, she sighed.

This week, however, she decided to join them for a third time because she wanted to invite them to her lecture, which would happen in two days. She initially had no plans on asking them but her colleagues were bringing their friends and other guests. It was a big event in their department as they were presenting some of their lighter researches in neurobiology, covering topics that were supposed to be appealing even to the ordinary person. Honestly though, she doubted those people of lower intellect would understand their studies.

She was about to open the topic on the lecture with the guys when Raj started blabbing about his date with Emily. Amy rolled her eyes, made some small comments on Raj's pathological fear of being alone, and waited for her turn to divert the topic. But, that did not happen because as soon as Raj stopped his vapid narration, Howard picked it up with another one of his tales about his mother and immediately followed by Leonard, with his stories about Penny and their pre-wedding plans.

The lecture was actually a big deal for Amy. She truly enjoyed doing the research that she would present. Despite what she told herself, a part of her, quite irrationally, yearned for her friends' attendance to the event.

That's odd, Amy thought. Why would she want them there? But the question was buried as quickly as it came to the surface. And the cold, rationalizing self took over.

There always seemed to be a lot going on with these guys. No doubt, it was better to just forget about the invitation. They already have their plans with Penny, Bernie and Emily and she didn't want to trouble them with an event they wouldn't really care about anyway. In any case, Amy was sure they do not have the capacity to appreciate the advances in her superior field.

That's how she came to conclude that the extra lunchtime with the guys is a complete waste of time. She should have stuck to her twice weekly schedule with them otherwise her efficiency will decline.

Looking down at the puzzle pieces, Amy felt relieved. This was definitely better than being with other people. No tedium. No blabbering. No running away.

She was almost finished with the borders of the picture when her computer rang. She turned, checked the schedule on her white board, and answered the call-

"Hello, Dr. Cooper."

She exhaled sharply. Time for another obligatory social nonsense.

_[Apologies if it's a bit short. Next chapter is in progress.]_


	4. Chapter 4

To be fair, Amy enjoyed talking to Sheldon most of the time. She just had enough interaction for the day and was not prepared to do her girlfriend duties with that unscheduled video chat. They used to talk daily after Sheldon's departure but with her boyfriend frequently bragging about how things were better where he was, she requested that they reduce their chat to thrice a week.

She was glad he was no longer as stressed as he was before he left. In the beginning, things were very difficult for her, too. She was hurt and missed him badly until she realized that such emotions were doing her no good and observed that her friends were moving on with their lives as well. Surely Sheldon did not expect their worlds to stop because he needed time and space to sort himself out.

Eventually, the thrice a week schedule was reduced to once a week. Amy can hardly see the value of maintaining their relationship when she had no certainty as to the date of his return or if he intended to return at all. It has been four months and she planned to propose a termination of their relationship should he choose to remain wandering around for another month. Reducing their schedule was one of Amy's discreet devices to gradually remove him from her life.

"Hello, Dr. Fowler." Sheldon said, with a wide grin on his face. "First, I must apologize for this unscheduled video chat."

"Good." She replied. "Then I expect you to forgive me too if I continue doing my scheduled night activities while we talk." She put the laptop on the table and showed him the puzzle pieces.

Sheldon nodded. "Very well. The reason I'm calling is because I want to thank you for that contact from Stanford that you gave me when we talked earlier this week. Just this morning I got a copy of the original paper on their breakthrough on cosmic inflation, complete with a copy of their handwritten notations. It is remarkable."

He continued discussing the contents of the paper while Amy worked on her puzzle. Amy occasionally raised her head to look at him and ask for further details. He was impressed as always with her ability to grasp complex concepts despite her field and at the same time enjoy other activities. No wonder he was very fond of this woman.

His eyes were fixed on her the whole time he was talking. Seeing her on a screen all of a sudden seemed wrong. Leonard was right, it was different. Being with someone in the same room was a lot more satisfying than communicating through the computer. He felt an odd longing for her presence: the smell of her dandruff shampoo and the feel of her sitting close to him on the couch. He stared at her, sensing a desire to be near her, drink tea with her, watch a movie, play word games, spend date nights with her…

"Sheldon?" Amy said, looking at him.

"I'm sorry I drifted. As I was telling you, I had the opportunity to meet one of the researchers in that project. Ahm, we discussed the effect of the breakthrough on the likelihood of the existence of parallel universes or multiverse, as it is called.

"Some of the findings are quite relevant to the new path I intend to pursue for my research on string theory, which after intense reflection, I realize still has a powerful influence in the development of a grand unified theory. Boy, those bozos are gonna weep at the glory of my genius when I start working on my research." Sheldon said smugly.

He saw Amy smiled, making his own smile bigger. He felt so proud as he continued talking, even though Amy was intently looking at the puzzle pieces and not at him.

"I'm glad you are happy with our conversation," he said.

"Excuse me? I'm sorry I don't follow." Amy asked. Her smile swiftly fading when he glanced at him

"You were smiling. Weren't you fascinated with the developments I told you?"

Amy paused. "Oh, of course I am pleased with the things you shared. String theory is a complicated field very few have the capacity to explore. I believe it would suffer greatly if you give up on it, seeing that you are one, if not the most brilliant physicist in that area of study." Her face was now expressionless as she looked at him, her praise of his ability, very detached.

"And as to the movement of my facial muscles, it was the unintentional consequence of the delight I felt when I saw this part of the puzzle over here," she said pointing at a section of the table. "This is a picture of New York City and last I went there, I saw this shop on the street. I was surprised the puzzle I got had the shop in it. It is delightfully accurate and updated."

The smile was neither for him nor because of him. Over the past months, he kept track of the changes in Amy's demeanor, her smile, her eyes, her voice. It has been a while since she smiled that way during their video chats and it made Sheldon very pleased. But finding out that it was in no way related to him distressed him.

Sheldon noted that Amy rarely told him stories about her day anymore. For the past two months, he actively took it to himself to never forget to press for details about her life right now as she no longer voluntarily gives the information to him. And, when she does, majority of what she gives him appear very impersonal.

That night, Sheldon waited for her to tell him about the incoming lecture. It was the real reason why he called. He knew all about it since he has Amy Farrah Fowler on Google alerts. He was aware that she must be excited about the event, based on the depth of research and effort he saw on the paper she will be presenting, which he downloaded and read as soon as he got the information.

When he asked about her day, Amy merely told him about what the rest of the guys are up to, adding a few criticisms of their behavior here and there. Sheldon shared her disapproval of some of their pals' habits and he always enjoyed how he and Amy still think alike in many ways, despite the distance between them. But that was not all that he wanted to hear from her.

He desired to talk about _her_, about their relationship but he had not the courage to ask. Other things may be in order for him now, but when it comes to Amy, the feelings of being stronger and weaker at the same time remained. He felt brave and cowardly and a whole ton of contradictory emotions he never knew he could experience before she came to his life. Emotions that triumph in the face of his fiercest denials and continue to consume and beat him despite his thick walls of resistance.

Their chat ended with the traditional pleasantries. Amy mechanically carried on with her jigsaw. Sheldon, on the other hand, was left deep in thought, working through a complex puzzle of his own.

_[The reunion can't come soon enough for me either but when I tried to write it, these build up scene came up instead. We are getting there though.]_


	5. Chapter 5

_[Okay. One more update before I dive into a pile of paperwork.]_

The lecture hall was not very big. It could fit a hundred and fifty people at most but some of Amy's colleagues required their students to attend, so the venue will most likely be filled up fast.

Amy turned around to see six empty seats reserved for her guests in the hall. She quietly castigated herself for failing to inform the organizers that they should just give them away. Now, six perfect spots would be wasted and the staff appear too busy to be bothered with a late seat cancellation.

She went back to reviewing her notes, calm and collected as always. Lectures and presentations never bother her as she has been comfortable in the academic setting for years. She loves doing research and sharing it with colleagues, students and other people who have a passion for the sciences. She was pleased to be where she was at that moment.

She listened intently as the first presenter opened the lecture. Although she was already deeply familiar with all that her colleagues will talk about that day, she still took notes and evaluated the quality of their research. She may seem emotionless in other social situations but when it comes to her work and the sciences, she remained passionate as ever, that is, if one can see past her default monotonous way of speaking, stiff posture, and cold stare.

When her name was called, Amy walked to the stage confidently. She was welcomed with a loud applause as students were awed to be in the presence of Dr. Fowler, the noted neurobiologist whose research has been several times on the cover of Neuron. But particularly loud claps seemed to be emanating from one side of the hall. She searched for the source of the sound and found that the six seats she eyed earlier were now filled up…by Leonard, Penny, Howard, Bernadette, Raj and Emily. They were all there, cheering for her.

It was almost perfect. Her heart skipped a beat and felt a familiar but forgotten warmth starting to engulf her. Her lips curled up a little for a genuine smile directed at them, one that she seemed to have not consciously done in the past months.

For a very brief moment, they saw a glimpse of the human Amy back.

What prevented the warmth from engulfing her completely and the smile from showing itself fully was a picture on the screen. It was a boa constrictor, which, at that emotionally-charged instant, brought back memories that automatically activated the robot in her.

The group saw it, nonetheless: a start, a small crack in the façade that covered their dear friend Amy Farrah Fowler.

Now standing up straightly and rigidly, Amy cleared her throat and began her piece. "My presentation is the result of a collaborative research among neurobiologists from this university and from universities in Japan and Brazil, with yours truly, Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, as the lead. It is an exploration of the genetically-encoded, neural mechanisms responsible for instinctive responses in primates focusing on rhesus monkeys, or to put it simply for dummies in attendance today, the biological explanation for fear and other emotional responses in monkeys."

As she went on with her lecture, Amy glanced at her friends from time to time. She saw a sleepy Penny trying very hard to listen to her and stay awake, a serious Bernie occasionally nodding in agreement with her findings, and a curious Emily attentively flipping through the pages of what could only be Amy's research paper. Leonard, Howard and Raj, meanwhile, were squinting at the screen as if thinking and trying very hard to take and digest everything in.

When they opened the floor for questions, an undergraduate student asked Amy about the implication of the research to evolution, a question which made her roll her eyes and say, "I believe students were handed out copies of our paper in full and ahead of time. If you actually read it, you will find the answer to your question on page forty-three, paragraph seven. I also mentioned it earlier on slide seventeen, as you will see in your handout."

Unknown to Amy, another man was rolling his eyes at the question. Seated in a darkened section of the hall, the man whispered almost at the same time as Amy: "page forty-three, paragraph seven." This made his seatmates look at him. He, in turn, glared at them as he felt obliged to explain. "I have an eidetic memory and that outstanding scientist"—he pointed at the stage—"is my girlfriend."

Sheldon was swelling with pride; Amy was excellent. He was not the least bit surprised with the way she pointed out the exact location of the answer to that imbecile's question. She may not have an eidetic memory but she has always possessed the ability to recall details in researches in neurobiology, most especially, the ones she made.

He had been sitting there the whole time. He chose an area of the hall with insufficient lighting so Amy would not see him. He just didn't want to risk stressing her out on this special day. He was relieved when he saw their friends arrive and took excellent seats at the hall. She may not admit it but he knew their presence means a lot to her, as proven by her conduct when she spotted them shortly after her name was called. Sheldon detected what could have been the beginning of a warm smile that was cut short by the image on the screen.

The picture of the boa constrictor brought back memories for him, too. It reminded him of the time Amy gave him a consoling hug when he got upset over Kripke's research. He told her that it felt like being strangled by that animal, which she probably thought was an unpleasant comparison. But, for him, it was the contrary. The constriction of her arms around him made him feel safe and calm as it was tender and tight at the same time. It was an affectionate gesture that made him feel a sensation that is out of the ordinary. It sent shivers down his spine, a reaction that he had associated with that snake from then on and one that he had inadvertently shown her when he visited her lab in Caltech on her first day there.

For a second, just before she cleared her throat and introduced her topic, Sheldon thought that she saw him, as her eyes lingered briefly in the area where he was seated. He froze and witnessed the disappearance of the sparkle and glee, which slowly crept in her eyes at the sight of their friends. He saw Amy stiffen, went back to her rigid, robotic stance and proceeded with her presentation.

When the event ended, the group approached Amy, who was talking to her colleagues.

"Hey, Ames. That was amazin'" Penny said, throwing her arms around Amy. Amy returned the hug with an awkward pat on the blonde's back.

Howard handed her a bouquet of flowers while the others hugged and shook her hand. "Thank you," Amy replied, her voice a little higher than usual. Her friends looked at each other happily and with high hopes.

"Raj and the girls cooked dinner at the apartment for us," Leonard said. "We'd be delighted if you could come. After all, the night is for you."

"I'd love to. I'll be there after this assessment meeting with our department chair. I really appreciate your coming here. But how did you…"

Bernie cut her off. "Oh, we'll tell you later. It looks like your colleagues are waiting for you. I can see their raised eyebrows from here. They kind of looked like someone's disapproving parents."

Amy's colleagues were indeed quite older and already impatient. She gestured at them and bid her friends goodbye. "I'll see you later." She said and watched her friends take the exit on the far right.

As Amy turned towards the main door, she once again caught sight of a familiar silhouette on the darkened corner of the hall. She saw it earlier but thought it was only an imagination. And yet, there it is again. There _he_ is again. Before her eyes, a tall man engaged in a heated debate with an undergraduate student now barely concealed by the poor lighting in that area.

Amy paused, unsure of what to do, what to think, or what to feel. She just stood there like an inanimate object albeit mindful of even the littlest of movements. She blinked. One. Two. Three.

"Sheldon," she stated matter-of-factly and walked away.


	6. Chapter 6

Amy was noticeably more silent than usual. It had been almost one hour since they started eating dinner but the gang had not received even a single dose of her usual condescension-laced concerns for them. Providing those sweet servings used to be Sheldon's role—a role which, in his absence, Amy had naturally and very easily taken up.

That was not all that she took up however. She also started occupying Sheldon's spot. At first, she noticed her friends' slight look of alarm when she invaded the sacrosanct space. She reasoned out with them, of course, and eventually the spot became hers as well.

With her gaze fixed on the television, Amy lifted the fork to her mouth, her mind uninterested with neither the food nor the task at hand.

"How did your meeting go?" Leonard asked her.

Amy continued eating mechanically as if she did not hear the question. Everyone stopped their own conversations to observe her. After a few moments, Penny finally inquired, "Sweetie, are you okay?"

She turned her head and saw the gang's curious faces. "Oh, I'm fine, although I did experience some slight discomfort after the lecture."

"What kind of discomfort?" Penny pressed on.

"Elevated heart rate, warm sensation on my eyes, ears, cheeks and chest, bile taste on my mouth, localized vascular throbbing and now a decreasing appetite," Amy replied, directing their attention to the body parts she mentioned. "Those are indeed a curious blend of symptoms. I may have to observe myself for a couple of days to be sure."

Bernie was about to offer her opinion when the door opened and, instantly, their baffled reactions changed to surprise and delight.

"Sheldon!" squealed Penny. "Welcome back." She stood up and gave Sheldon a hug. Leonard followed suit and soon almost everyone was on their feet, giving their friend pats on the back, handshakes, and high fives.

Sheldon was overwhelmed; he did not expect his pals to be at the apartment. He assumed that they will be dining out after the lecture like what they usually do on Friday nights. Most of all, he did not expect Amy to be there. He intended to go to her apartment and surprise her by asking for a spontaneous date night the next day. Now, his plan was ruined.

He would've been home sooner but, after the event, a dunce bumped into him and spilled water on his shirt. First of all, everyone knew that food and drinks are not allowed inside the hall and second, students had several times been warned that running in university corridors, especially inside science buildings, is unsafe. The incident irked Sheldon so much that he brought the student to President Siebert and gave him a copy of the student handbook with his annotations. Then, he had a lengthy discussion with Siebert about his revised research track and schedule so he can immediately resume work next week.

Sighing, Sheldon reluctantly returned his friends' welcome gestures. That was too much unnecessary touching for one night but what could he do? He was gone too long so naturally his brilliance was missed by his social group. To be honest, he longed a little for those affectionate touches as well but unfortunately the physical contact he yearned for the most appeared not to be forthcoming.

He had been observing Amy the moment he entered the room. She just sat there, watching them but not looking at anyone in particular. Her face registered no reaction. No surprise. No smile. No sparkle.

"Amy?" Sheldon said, looking expectantly at her.

It took a while before his voice registered on her mind. "I apologize. I'll move. Now that you're here, this spot is yours again." She said as she slid to the space beside Sheldon's spot and resumed eating.

Her response was not unexpected but somehow seeing it actually happen rendered their friends speechless. They went back to their seats, anxious about what could happen next.

Although aware of her recent changes, Sheldon thought that Amy would come out of her fortress at the sight of him. He expected her to cry in delight and act hurt by how much she missed him. Then, overpowered by her girly emotions, she would run to him, give him a tight hug and a silly kiss. That was what he expected. That was what he wanted.

But pride got the better of Sheldon. He would not be the one to initiate such moves with Amy. Instead, he remained standing near the door, holding his luggage and maintaining a proud stance. "That's not what I meant."

Amy merely frowned. She was clueless as to what Sheldon wanted from her, prompting Raj to step in. "Amy, aren't you surprised and delighted that Sheldon is back?"

"Oh, I'm not surprised at all. I saw him after the lecture…arguing with a student" turning to Penny, she added, "right before I had those symptoms by the way."

"What symptoms?" Sheldon asked.

"Nothing, just a strange concoction of abnormal bodily responses that I can preliminarily associate with any of the following conditions: A viral infection, hormonal imbalance, or hmmm…let me see, an odd range of sentiments which may or may not include melancholia, anger, excitement, and affection," she explained, clinically.

"See? That is obviously triggered by Sheldon's return." Raj countered, turning to the others who are nodding their heads in agreement.

"That may be a valid observation. I will take note of it although I highly doubt that it will provide a sufficient explanation of my earlier distress." Amy was not convinced and stared at her food. "For all I know, it could be the food."

Sheldon was already losing his patience. The desire to be near her had been building up inside him for quite some time. In his mind, he felt that he deserved something more affectionate from Amy. He already apologized for his outburst before he left and his failure to personally say goodbye, which she accepted early on. Additionally, it was the first time they were apart for that long. Knowing her, surely she missed him more than he missed her. He exhaled; maybe she needed a little encouragement.

"I believe it is customary for a girlfriend to give her significant other a welcome upon his return from travel," he demanded, looking straight at Amy.

Amy returned his stare. She remained properly seated and said, "I am glad you're finally here, Sheldon. Welcome back."

And smiled.

Sheldon's jaw dropped. Amy did what he told her but she executed it exactly like a program following an if-then command and mixed it with a face he knew so well. It was a calculated, put-on expression designed to satisfy social expectations like when he had to be happy for Raj's achievement or for Leonard's sea voyage. But, Amy's was much, much colder.

Never, not even in his wildest dream, had Sheldon thought that he would ever find himself at the receiving end of such a smile. It stung.

Amy, with the smile now gone, turned her attention back to the plate on her lap and started poking at her food.

They knew then that it was not intentional on Amy's part. It was just who she was at that moment. She probably even had no idea of the hurt she had inflicted upon him-a realization that only made it worse for Sheldon.


	7. Chapter 7

It was hard watching two of their friends navigate the complications of love. Leonard, Penny, Howard, Bernadette, Raj, and even Emily felt the pain Sheldon and Amy were trying so hard to conceal. One escaped by wrapping herself tightly with cold science while the other was in the process of emotionally fleeing with denial and refusal to face the results of his acts.

If normal people already find this journey tumultuous, how much more difficult could the experience possibly be for people like them? For people who find daily social interactions and conventions a challenge? For the rest of the gang, dealing with these emotions was hard but they were sure their experience was not and will never be as difficult as it is for Sheldon and Amy.

They witnessed how Sheldon received the chilling blow of Amy's icy defense. His grip on the handle of his luggage tightened, his proud stance waivered, and his voice started breaking.

"I am pleased that you are in full control of your hind brain today, Amy. Frankly, I was afraid you would jump about hugging and kissing me upon my arrival." He said, swallowing very hard before continuing. "It's a good thing I am pair-bonded with a highly-developed human being."

"I concur," was Amy's quick reply.

"If you will excuse me, folks, I'm afraid I can't join you tonight as I need to go to my room and get settled back in. Amy, would you be kind enough to help me sort and label my new science journals?" he said tapping one side of his sling bag.

"Alright. Let me just finish dinner before I join you," she said as she watched a visibly rattled Sheldon walk to his room.

Even their most seemingly mundane conversation was incredibly agonizing to watch, Bernadette thought. They were dancing around the problem, too afraid to confront and be vulnerable. Being in a blissful, albeit challenging marriage, Bernadette knew that a little assistance may be needed at that point.

"Amy, you know it was Sheldon who told us about your lecture. He wanted to make the day special for you," she started.

Leonard picked up on her cue. "Yeah, he texted, called, emailed and sent us messages through facebook and twitter just to ensure our attendance. He even called the organizer to guarantee excellent seats for us in the hall."

"He even gave me an online quiz about the contents of your paper," Emily said.

They saw Amy paused and glanced in the direction of Sheldon's room. "I apologize for the inconvenience. He could be annoying when he's persistent, as you very well know."

"No. No. It was not an inconvenience. We were happy to do it for you." Penny explained. "What we're trying to say is what he did was really sweet, Amy, don't you think?"

"Oh. I haven't considered that," Amy muttered, adjusting her glasses. "Yes, I suppose it is. However, again I was not surprised that he told you about the lecture. As my romantic partner, under the relationship agreement, it is his responsibility to give me support in times of academic milestones. And since he probably did not intend to return yet at that time, it was only logical to look for proxy. In this case, it was you guys and I would say that you did the part very well. Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.

"I must concede though that his effort was thoughtful because if I wanted you there, I could've invited you myself. Only it did not occur to me that you might enjoy the lecture." Amy said.

"We enjoyed it. Rhesus monkeys are fascinating animals." Bernadette said. "But see? The fact that you chose to tell Sheldon of the event and not us means that you want him to be there with you. And his coming to the event shows that he cares for your happiness, right? Don't you think he deserves at least a welcome hug for that?"

Honestly, they didn't know where the conversation was headed but they felt like they needed to do something. They waited in silence for Amy's response.

"Hmm…I don't know. Maybe. But, I did not tell Sheldon about the event."

"Then how did he know?" Penny asked.

Leonard answered her. "He has Amy on Google alerts ever since he met her."

"Yes, that's what I figured. I have him on alerts as well," Amy said.

"That is even sweeter," Penny remarked. "You have each other on an alert of some form."

"Why? It is only natural that we would be concerned with each other's online presence. From your reaction, I could gather that you don't do the same. No wonder you're relationships are weird." Amy said. "If you don't mind, I think I should get back to my meal so I can help Sheldon with those journals. Just carry on with your humdrum chitchat, I believe it won't bother me."

Bernadette sighed. Well, it was worth a try.

_[This night scene is probably stretched already but I intend to drag this to one more chapter and hopefully give it some comforting things. Wish me luck.]_


	8. Chapter 8

Sheldon couldn't quite understand what he was feeling. He sat at the edge of his bed confused and somewhat weak. There was a time when he wished Amy had remained pragmatic and devoid of emotions. Before, when she changed and became more affectionate towards him and their friends, he felt afraid and pressured but he found himself also enjoying it.

He observed how she grew more lively, eager, and colorful over the years. Not that she was not interesting when they met but the transformation made him more drawn to her. He didn't know it was possible for him to be so captivated with another person. Yet, with Amy, despite the uneasiness brought by the continuing developments, he was suddenly willing to bend his rules and make adjustments to himself, just so she would remain a part of his life.

Admittedly, he had a hard time catching up with her like with the idea of moving in and engaging in more romantic activities. He was difficult and resistant most of the time but she remained patient with him, cherishing what little improvements he can make at the moment. She was the best girlfriend. Despite that, he didn't give a second thought about leaving her when things became too much for him.

It just never crossed his mind that being away from her could be difficult, too. And, boy, did he learn his lesson. At first, their video chats eased his daily worry about her well-being until she put forward an irrefutably logical request about reducing their call schedules. It was fine, he convinced himself, until he started compulsively checking her online activities and harassing the university security to ensure that his girlfriend is fine. Eventually, the feeling went beyond mere concern about her well-being. He longed for her presence. He missed her so badly that where ever he went in the past months, he wished she was there with him. He would imagine how she would react, what she would say or do to make things better.

He was so confident that when he comes back, she will be there, missing him more than he missed her. He was so sure that she loved him so much she would never leave him.

He was so wrong.

Yes, she was there. She never left. But the longing and affection Sheldon looked forward to were nowhere to be found. There was only the old Amy. The Amy capable leaving him over a disagreement about their fields of study and be fine with it while he wallowed trying to replace her with cats. He realized then that she was irreplaceable.

Seeing her now, Sheldon felt the real possibility that she might just leave him. The relationship benefitted him greatly. Amy, on the other hand, had very few gains from being his girlfriend. He was aware of that and, during the first few weeks of his absence and he saw how affected she was, he understood that it was selfless love that made her stay in their glaringly unfair setup. With the emotionless Amy back…

"Sheldon?" it was Amy, knocking. He stood up absent-mindedly and opened the door. His mind was in such disarray that he didn't notice the lamp on his bedroom wall. When he stepped aside to let Amy in, the left side of his face hit the decorative lamp. It jolted him out of his haziness.

Amy was all business. She sat down on one side of the bed and immediately grabbed the label-maker, marker and the journals already laid down on his bed. The real reason he asked for her help was so he could be alone with her and observe her more closely. But, the proximity only confirmed what he already knew.

He was not sure of what to do. The only thing he was certain at that time was how painful his chest felt. He couldn't breathe. The old Sheldon would have thrown fits already but he wasn't like that now. And Amy would've simply ignored him if he acted that way. Worse, such actions just might push this logical and controlled woman to terminate their relationship.

He cleared his throat, awkwardly picked up his journal catalogue, and remained standing trying to think of a topic of conversation. It was odd, he very rarely runs out of topics to talk about. Thankfully, Amy decided to take the lead.

"The guys were saying that you told them about the lecture. Thank you," she said while opening up one of the journals.

"Yes, I did. You would've done the same for me," he replied.

"They also said that for that you deserve a welcome back hug. And I agree. As your girlfriend, it is only proper that I express my appreciation of your effort and your return…with some physical gesture. Although I know that we both find it unsanitary and unnecessary, I feel obliged to ask: would you like a welcome back hug?" she inquired, looking up at him.

Sheldon let out a sharp breath. That was what he wanted ever since she walked into his room, a small gesture of affirmation from Amy that she still needed him in her life. Perhaps, it would also knock some sense into his head, he thought, and remove these crazy fears of her not being in love with him anymore.

He looked down on the floor, a little shy and scared about how his response would be received. "Actually, a kiss would be much better…after all, we missed a lot of date nights." He shrugged, trying to sound casual, like it was no big deal.

Amy eyed him curiously and said. "Very well."

She walked over to him so they were both standing. Sheldon looked at her and, despite the questions plaguing his mind, managed to give her the kind of smile he never gave to anyone else. Amy didn't react and stood there waiting.

Placing his hands on her waist like he used to, Sheldon pulled her closer and lowered his face to hers. For a second, he got scared that she would not kiss him since she belatedly lifted her chin to meet him.

Then finally their lips touched. And, for a second time that night, a distinct pain pierced through Sheldon's heart.

He will never forget what it was like to kiss Amy. It was warm and pleasurable. But, at that moment, Sheldon had never felt more abandoned, more alone in his life than ever, for while their lips were touching, he could not feel her. He moved his lips very gently and tried savoring the sensation but there was simply nothing there. After five seconds, he pulled back.

With his hands still on Amy's waist, he searched her eyes for even the slightest hint of affection; there was none. He loved how dreamy she used to look after they kiss but now, she was empty. Her emerald eyes staring back at him with nothing.

_Feel something. _Sheldon was screaming in his head.

_Please. Love me. Love me again. Please._ His eyes searched and searched hard to no avail. He controlled himself, trying to hold back tears. But, in that very brief moment, when even breathing seemed to be so hard, a tear made its way out of his left eye. He bowed his head and bit his lower lip to stop himself from completely breaking down.

That's when he felt it, a warm hand caressing his left cheek, wiping the tear away.

"Are you hurt?"

Sheldon could've laughed at the cruel irony of the question because he was very truly hurt at that time but he was also aware that that was not what Amy was referring to. He hit that side of his face earlier and she was only worried if he sustained an injury painful enough to make him cry and retreat from the kiss.

Still, her gesture gave him hope. Other people would have missed the trace of concern in her voice but Sheldon caught it. It was very faint but there was concern nonetheless.

He smiled and touched the hand on his face. "It's okay. I'll be better," he promised.


	9. Chapter 9

Had Sheldon stayed in the kiss longer he would've felt a tinge of what he wanted to feel. Had he not bowed his head he would've seen a glimpse of what he wanted to see. But since the things he desired that night had been buried so deeply, any manifestation could only be fleeting and very easy to miss.

With Sheldon standing close to her, his hands on her waist, his lips approaching hers, Amy was flooded with emotions; her body internally responding in ways she had forgotten it was capable of doing. Her system was in overdrive, prompting a most mechanical response: a shutdown. That was what Sheldon saw.

When their lips touched, the internal turmoil was too much for her to handle. There was yearning and affection on the one hand but fear and angst on the other, clashing like waves, cancelling each other out. And so she stood there motionless and empty.

Sheldon's lips moved slightly and she found herself being pulled into the kiss. One wave seeming to triumph over the other, sending signals, stimulating her lips to feel and move as well. But, just when she thought she was about to succumb to the sweet pressure, he pulled back. Cold air touched her lips and chilled her once again.

Inside Amy were too many commands, pushing and pulling in every nauseating direction. Amid that chaos, however, on the outside she looked blank like a "hanging" computer or a frozen screen.

Still, the screen flickered briefly here and there. A tear fell on Sheldon's cheek. He bowed his head and missed the first quick flash of concern in her previously desolate eyes. Luckily, he caught the second and third flickers: the hand on his face and the nuance on her voice.

The experience, however, left Amy exhausted and numbed. It was too much. She had unlearned a lot about human emotions in the past months and in one day saw it all flooding back.

Damn these hormones, she told herself the next day. And just like that the feelings, the almost kiss from her, the flickers were dismissed. Blame it all to biology, the defective hardware, and the system was up and running again—rebooted, although now slightly unstable.

Looking at the monkey inside its spacious cage in her lab, Amy felt relieved. She scheduled a brain imaging that Saturday and was grateful that nobody else was around because she had already reached her social interaction quota for the week.

There's still movie night with their friends later though. She was planning on not joining them. However, after their surprise appearance at her lecture, she thought she could return the favor by gracing them with her presence in one activity that they like. So, she didn't cancel like she originally intended to. She sighed, making a mental note to reduce her social interactions next week since she's bound to exceed this week.

She was humming to a Neil Diamond song while studying some charts, when her phone rang. It was Sheldon.

"Amy? I'm outside your apartment. Do you think maybe we can hang out before going to the movie with the others tonight?" he said.

"I'm at the university, Sheldon. I suppose now that you're back we should sync our calendars again so things like this can be avoided," Amy replied.

"Oh, I'll just go there then and we can hang out while you work."

"Don't do that."

Amy's bluntness took Sheldon by surprise. "Why not? I promise I won't touch anything. I won't even talk biology, if that's what you want."

"I prefer to be alone this afternoon. If you want to hang out, we have to schedule it and I'm telling you my next two weeks are pretty much filled up already. You'll see it in my calendar." She said.

Sheldon's line went silent for a while. "Sheldon? I'm busy. I'm hanging up okay?"

"W-wait. I have some food with me. Can I at least drop by and give it to you? I'm sure you could use some snacks on your break."

"Alright." Amy said then hung up.

Sheldon arrived a few minutes later. He looked around the lab, seeing the monkey, the equipment and the stacks of paper on her desk. Amy merely nodded at him, pointed at the table where he could put the food and went back to perusing her charts.

She noticed Sheldon lingering at the door. "Is there anything else you need?"

"No. Nothing. Ahm, I'll see you tonight?" Sheldon asked.

"Yes. Please close the door on your way out." She said, without looking up at him.

From the lab, hours later, she went straight to the cinema to meet them. Sheldon was there, almost too shy to meet her eyes but too eager to be at her side. She knew Sheldon very well but when he came back, she noted how he appeared too drawn to her. It was obvious that he missed her. It was unexpected since her boyfriend was not the type, even when he misses someone too much, to let such emotions slip through very blatantly.

She received a total of thirty-nine messages and seven phone calls from him since she went home last night and until their meeting in the cinema. She only replied a few times but he kept on texting her factoids and studies on travelling, working on weekends, and even social conventions about dating and romantic relationships. Despite herself, she was thoroughly fascinated with his broad range of knowledge and interests.

It was oddly comforting to see the seat beside her in the cinema occupied by Sheldon again. She glanced at him and saw him staring at her again. _This staring has got to stop._

"Sheldon, it is rude to stare, you know that."

"I'm sorry I can't help it…Ahm, we used to hold hands in the cinema," he said, changing the topic.

"Oh, we used to do that at my insistence. I don't like to do that anymore so you can relax now. We don't have to hold hands. In the months that you're gone, I started to see the logic of your argument against it."

"But it's in the relationship agreement."

"Let's amend it later then" she said, dismissing the subject.

Sheldon remained fidgety. "Amy…may I please hold your hand?" He pleaded.

Amy looked at him, her brows a bit furrowed. "If it's making you uncomfortable that we're not doing what's codified, then I will indulge you." And with that permission, Sheldon took her hands, placed it on his lap with her hand on top of his and smiled.

The contact was comforting and intimate. They both felt it. Sheldon was pleased; Amy was not. She was once again distressed. She moved to disentangle her fingers from his and lifted her hands away.

This alarmed Sheldon. _No. Don't. Please don't._ He restrained himself from pulling her hand back in, too afraid that it might drive her away further.

Amy saw this. He looked terrified, the same way he looked the night before, when a tear fell down his cheeks. Something stirred inside her. So, instead of getting her hand away from him fully, she stopped and put her forearm on the arm rest, her hands still above his but with some distance. Now, only her fingertips were touching his palm. But, the contact only became even more electrifying. It was torturous and teasing. They both became acutely aware of how they were sitting close to each other, their shoulders and arms touching.

As if on cue, they sighed at the same time. Sheldon stared at her again and she didn't mind it anymore.

"I miss you." He finally admitted, almost breathlessly.

"I know." She sat stiffly, more commands running inside her, more waves clashing. And so, for the rest of the movie, she sat there motionless but no longer as empty as before.


	10. Chapter 10

A few days ago, the gang witnessed some pretty drastic changes. Sheldon returned from sabbatical and Amy reached the height of her robotic state. Now, back in Caltech, their apprehension about the relationship between the two had died down a little. Leonard, Howard and Raj were having lunch at the cafeteria and, somehow, it felt like things were getting back to normal.

"Have you decided on the living arrangements yet?" Howard asked Leonard.

"Yes, we talked about it. I am moving in with Penny. Sheldon will remain in 4a, although he doesn't know yet if he would get a new roommate or live alone for a while," Leonard said before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"How did Sheldon react?" Raj asked.

"Surprisingly, he took it well. It looks like those four months away really did him good. I'm worried about the Shamy though," Leonard said.

"We're all worried about the Shamy," Howard replied.

Raj nodded in agreement, before adding, "Oh, they'll get through it. They have some robotic dance going on but they love each other and that's what matters in the end."

"You watched a chick flick last night, didn't you?" Howard glared at their effeminate friend but before Raj could retort, Leonard cut him off.

"I think Sheldon's worried that Amy doesn't feel that way about him anymore. I eavesdropped on their video chat and you cannot really blame him, it is very hard to read Amy lately. But, I saw her smiling at him and I can tell that she still adores him somehow…and oh, Sheldon's keeping track of how many times she smiled genuinely at him since he came back. He keeps a notebook; it's creepy but he said they're making progress."

Raj dreamily interjected. "Amy loves him. The girls told me she still has Sheldon's shirt in her bedroom except now it's not worn by a rice sack anymore but by a pillow. When Bernie asked about it, she gave some neurobiological BS about the brain and sleeping but we know that's just her robotic self talking."

"That's what Bernie and I think too. I guess we just have to let them work their way out of this mechanical state again. I only hope that they do it fast because they are mean when they are normal but in this condition, they are insufferable," Howard said.

Leonard agreed. He recalled Sheldon and Amy's video chat the other night when they were syncing their schedules. They had a rather long discussion on who's fun time would be moved to accommodate the other and when they finally agreed, they moved on to talk about the venue and this affected his scheduled movie time with Penny. He couldn't believe how he once again found himself in the middle of bullies, belittling his and his girlfriend's activities and intellect.

"Leonard, since it's Penny's turn to choose the movie you're going to watch, I am telling you Sheldon and I are only doing you a favor. By moving your schedule to another day, you can better prepare by dumbing yourself down a little bit to enjoy those movies, although I think that wouldn't take much of an effort." Amy said through the monitor.

"Indeed" Sheldon followed. "I can guarantee you that it will just be another uninformative documentary or hippie feel-good movie. We'd invite you to join us in our planned fun time but I doubt you'll understand."

Amy looked back at Sheldon. "Hmm, you're right we can do that. Since we are good friends, we can modify our activities to include Penny and Leonard. That way we get to fulfill our fun time obligation to each other and, at the same time, educate our friends. What do you think Leonard?"

Years of being with Sheldon prepared Leonard to handle those kinds of situations. Besides, he was hopeful that things would improve eventually. So, that night, Leonard succeeded in not getting offended with the onslaught of scathing criticisms he received from the quirky couple. And in the end, he agreed to just have his movie time with Penny in her apartment, even though her television is a little smaller than theirs.

"Uh-oh." Howard interrupted his train of thought.

"De javu." Raj said, as they spotted Sheldon and Amy getting utensils on one side of the cafeteria.

"John and Yoko," Leonard said.

"More like Yoko and Yoko," Howard corrected him and they all laughed light-heartedly.

Sheldon and Amy approached them and laid down their trays on the table. They took seats opposite each other and proceeded to greet their friends.

"Gentlemen," Amy said.

"Hey, Amy." Howard said. "How have you been?"

Amy sighed. "Well, since last we saw each other one day ago, I assume that question is just a formality required in this kind of activities, unless you're interested to know about the changes my body has gone through on a cellular level since that last meeting."

"It's good to know you're okay, Amy," Howard said.

Sheldon shook his head while Amy nodded. It appeared like it was not only their schedules that they had managed to sync up again. It felt so much like when they just started seeing each other, only this time their friends could see the balance tilted more on one side: as in the cinema, Sheldon couldn't keep his eyes off of her while Amy barely glanced at his direction. She looked down at her food and started to eat while the guys continued chatting.

"So, Leonard, how goes the wedding planning?" Raj said, opening a new topic of conversation.

"Quite stressful, to be honest. I didn't know a lot of details need to be attended to." Leonard answered.

"Tell me about it, when Bernie and I are planning our wedding, I struggled hard to control my eating. All those stress will get to you plus there are in-laws to think about," Howard said. "I heard the girls trying on dresses later, is that right, Amy?"

"Yes, I believe so." Amy said flatly. "Frankly, I don't see the need for getting a new set of bridesmaids' dresses when the ones we used for your wedding still look good. Just a few alterations for Bernie's dress and I think we're good to go…But, if it makes Penny happy, in her last moments of singlehood and freedom, then who am I to question her."

"Right," Leonard said. "Although that sounded a bit like I'm caging her, I know you mean well Amy. By any chance, could you talk her into putting Klingon in the invitations?"

"Absolutely not. She warned me beforehand that you would do this. You already hit the jackpot with Penny, Leonard. Don't go asking for the bonus prize as well." Amy said. "Her words, not mine."

"Poor Leonard." Sheldon chuckled. "As they say, the more I love, the more she doth me smerte."

"What?" Howard looked questioningly at him.

"Is that—" Leonard started to ask.

"Chaucer," Amy said.

"But you don't like poetry." Leonard said to Sheldon.

"Well, my lady likes it." Sheldon answered. "And by the way, it means the more I love, the more she gives me pain." He said, looking at Amy.

Amy glanced at him and smiled widely. Although Amy missed the very subtle insinuation in his statement, the gang saw Sheldon's eyes sparkle. He took out a small notebook, made a mark, and happily looked back at his girlfriend again, as the latter turned to Leonard and said, "It's called a relationship, Leonard. He reads Chaucer, I watch Star Trek."

"You have to be mindful of these things now that you are getting married," Sheldon added.

"Thank you for the relationship advice, I appreciate it. Really." Leonard said, suppressing a smirk.

Missing the sarcasm, Sheldon replied, "you're welcome" and resumed eating.

Then, a text alert came from Amy's phone. She went on to read it and her expression became more stern than usual. "Gentlemen, excuse me. It looks like the department head requires my presence."

"You haven't finished your lunch yet," Sheldon said.

"I am not that hungry anyway." Amy said.

"I'll talk to you later?"

"Yes. I have to go." Amy said and got up. On her way to the door, a colleague stopped to talk to her and they lingered for a while. Sheldon remained on his seat, gazing at her.

"Take a picture," Howard said.

"What? Don't be silly Wolowitz. Why would I take a picture? I already have pictures of Amy on my phone." Sheldon countered.

Leonard took over. "It's an expression, Sheldon. You were just staring at her a lot."

They waited for another condescending remark from Sheldon but none came. He was serious all of a sudden. "I can't help it." He heaved a very long sigh. "I miss her. Every day, I miss her."


	11. Chapter 11

The afternoon had passed through very quickly. At six-thirty, Sheldon was satisfied with the amount of work he had done for his new research. He thought about going to Amy's lab but realized that she was probably trying on bridesmaid's dresses already with the girls. He was preparing to go home when his cellphone rang, it was Penny.

"Sheldon, are you with Amy?"

"No. I thought she's going out with you."

"She cancelled earlier but didn't say why. I'm worried. She's not answering her phone. Is everything okay? I hope you didn't do anything stupid." Penny asked.

"Penny!" Sheldon objected. "I didn't do anything. We're fine and even had lunch together. I'll go check up on her."

"Thank you and don't forget to tell us what happened." Penny said, and then hung up.

He dialed Amy's phone but, just like Penny, he received no response. Sheldon remembered the text Amy received during lunch; could that be somewhat related to this cancellation and her ignoring their phone calls? He hurriedly left his office and went straight to her apartment.

Upon reaching Amy's door, Sheldon immediately heard the sound of harp music. It was a gloomy tune and Amy wasn't singing. He knocked three times, after which his girlfriend opened the door.

"Sheldon, what are you doing here?" she asked with a tone of annoyance in her voice. She was wearing the clothes she wore during the day, her hair slightly unkempt and her hair clip a little out of place. She wasn't crying but it was obvious that she was upset.

"We were worried. You cancelled with the girls and kept on ignoring our phone calls." He wanted to get inside her apartment but she was blocking the door. "May I please come in?"

Amy hesitantly opened the door widely to let him in. "I don't know why they're worried. I cancel with them all the time. Besides, they know my size they can easily pick out a dress for me."

"You didn't give them a reason for your cancellation." Sheldon said as he stood behind her couch.

"It doesn't concern them and it will not affect Penny's wedding anyway so I didn't see the need to bother them with my personal trouble." Amy remained near the door and continued, "It doesn't concern you too Sheldon, so please just leave me be."

"Amy, anything that bothers you concerns me." Sheldon said firmly. "It's called a relationship, remember?" Sheldon realized that he was not in the best position to tell her those words, since he ran away when he was supposed to be sharing things with her and allowing her to help him. But, things had changed and he would not let her go through things alone anymore.

Amy stopped for a while, thinking, considering his statement. She said those words earlier that day and, of course, she was correct. It's a relationship and between her and Sheldon, it was more than that. They have a contractual obligation to provide support in times like this.

"Alright" she started seriously and monotonously. "The department accused me of negligence in the laboratory. A monkey has gone missing from the lab and based on the cameras, I am the last person to handle that monkey."

Sheldon frowned. "You mean that monkey last Saturday? But he was securely locked up in his cage when I saw him. And I came right after you did your imaging so, how is it possible that you're to blame for its disappearance?"

"I told them that but since on record I took him last, I should take responsibility. That's what the department said. It's another bureaucratic nonsense obviously but they're insistent on having the incident investigated. If you ask me, they're just afraid the government agency on animal welfare will go after them after that incident in Harvard Primate Research Lab years ago, where a monkey escaped and ended up dead. The lab was fined. Oh, and there's another monkey left in a mechanical washer in another lab somewhere and also died." Amy said.

Her voice was emotionless and straightforward but her appearance could not hide how distressed she was. Her shoulders were more hunched than usual, as if she was carrying a heavy load. Sheldon knew that Amy did not take allegations of negligence and, consequently, incompetence lightly. There must be something he could do but, at that moment, comforting Amy was his priority. He could probably propose cuddling. He looked at her, noting her serious expression and how tightly she held on to the doorknob. Nope. No cuddling, he decided.

"Amy," he said, "may I offer you a consoling hug?"

She eyed him disapprovingly. "I don't see how that could help."

"Please take it. We have nothing to lose anyway."

"Fine" was all she said. Sheldon stepped closer and wrapped his arms tightly around her. He saw her stiffen at the initial contact.

After a few seconds, he felt Amy relaxed and held onto his waist with both hands. He started to move his arms and glanced down at Amy. She rested her head on his chest, closed her eyes, and whispered-

"Don't stop."


	12. Chapter 12

Too close. Dangerously too close.

Sheldon was panicking, his heart beating out of his chest. Under normal circumstances, the proximity would have caused him to run away in horror due to germs but this was not an ordinary situation and it was not any other person. It was Amy. With her arms around his waist and her body pressed against his, Sheldon struggled very hard to contain his ever growing desire.

He knew that he missed her, that he wanted to be near her. But, he never thought that the feeling would be that strong when he felt her responding to him. When she whispered telling him not to stop, he held his breath and sensed an inexplicable craving to take in the air that had just passed through her mouth with those words.

Inhale, exhale, he reminded himself but that turned out to be another mistake. His heart stopped for a split second before pounding even harder as her scent started to fill his nose. Slowly, forcefully, the olfactory experience worked to further weaken the barricade around his repressed hind brain.

It was hard to miss that drumming sound. With her head resting on his chest, Amy heard it all.

She had just received a serious blow from the one thing she thought was under her full control: her career. It was at the very base of the wall surrounding her and with it now crumbling down, she was vulnerable. She closed her eyes, processing what happened, devising ways to rebuild a part of her stable barrier, and then she felt it: the beating, the struggling breath, every gasp and sigh, and even the slightest trembling in the arms that held her. It was confusing but when Sheldon's arms wound tighter around her and pressed her deeper into his chest, the sensation travelling from his body to hers, electrified, stimulated, and intoxicated her.

She recalled wanting to be in that position before but she had never gone through it. The thoughts were easier to dismiss but now that she was actually experiencing it, she found that there was no formula, no program, no command powerful enough to shut it down. She smelled talc. Soon, her heart was beating as fast and as loud as his. That shirted pillow on her bed was no match to this real thing. The scent enveloped her and the feel of her body snuggled against its firm source weakened and strengthened her at the same time. She took a deep breath and sighed.

Sheldon also caught on her sigh and that's when he reminded himself that the hug was meant to console her, not to take advantage of her distressed state. He cleared his throat and, with great effort, said: "Perhaps we could do our scheduled fun time activity tonight instead of Thursday…you know, to take your mind off these things for a while."

He felt her nod and then she spoke, rather breathlessly, "I suppose so." She looked up at him and, when their eyes met, Sheldon saw that he was not alone in feeling those things earlier. Her eyes were no longer empty; there were traces of emotion, of life now visible on her face.

He brought his face nearer to hers. With his eyes now focused on her lips, he felt that irresistible pull once more but he also felt fear. What if when their lips touch again he'd find out that he was only fooling himself? Desperately thinking she was feeling things again when in fact she's not? He wasn't sure how he could handle such pain this time.

But, those eyes, those lips, that scent, and the feel of her body—it was all too much. She exhaled; he caught her breath and, just like that, he lost control and claimed her lips. She trembled at the first touch but he persisted, closing on her upper lip, savoring the sensation that only she could give him. He tasted tea, jasmine, prompting him to push deeper and taste more.

His fears were silenced when he felt a slight pressure, a gentle suction on his lower lip. She was kissing him back and it was pure bliss, her lips sliding against his. She pulled back, putting a little space between their mouths.

But, Sheldon was already too deep into it. He quickly breached the gap and sealed her lips once more. A soft sigh escaped her when she found herself responding even more passionately than the first time. She instinctively lifted her arms to his neck and pulled him towards her, as if they weren't close enough already.

They kissed. And kissed. And kept kissing until they were both gasping for air.

All that time away from each other, the yearning, the seemingly endless pain, this was the reunion they both wanted deep, deep down. True, they still had issues hanging in the air but, during that glitch, that moment of vulnerability, their attraction and desire for one another briefly triumphed over the hurting and denial, allowing them some form of temporary reprieve or reassurance that despite the coldness and the fear, they were once again beside each other, physically and, maybe after they completely weathered this storm, emotionally.

They did not let go of each other even after the kiss ended. They stood there, foreheads touching, arms intertwined. Sheldon noticed a tear at the corner of Amy's eyes. It was just there and not about to fall. Still, it made him guilty knowing that he's largely responsible for her suffering. He caressed her cheek.

She chuckled and said, "So…fun time?"

When they settled on the couch, he observed how she slowly regained control of her emotions although she became warmer now, her voice softer. They set the details of their game and agreed to do it at Sheldon's apartment as planned. As they walked out of Amy's place, Sheldon held her hand. "Is this okay?" he asked.

She nodded casually. "You know, I think those dimwits at Google finally noticed our fifty-four emails to them about their logo."

"Yeah? Did they change it yet?" he said, glad that she had chosen to set aside her problem at the moment.

"Yes, I observed the changes myself and heard it in the news, too. The one-pixel shift in the last letters was already done. I think we can now call our campaign a success." She glanced up at him and smiled triumphantly.

"Oh, wonderful!" Sheldon said with glee. "Then, we can now move on to our next project. What do you say we start a signature campaign to send to those design amateurs at Cell Press? That layout of Neuron has got to change. Did you see their last issue?"

Amy clicked her tongue thrice. "Yes. Bold letters in hot pink, what were they thinking?"

"Indeed. I'll start the documentation." he commented. But first, fun time and then a plan for that primate lab trouble, he told himself as they exited the building.


	13. Chapter 13

Leonard and Penny were exhausted. After picking Penny up from the mall, they went over some more wedding details. They both did not anticipate the amount of effort such a ceremony required. Now, all they wanted to do was snuggle on the couch while watching a movie.

Leonard was about to open the apartment door when they heard voices and giggling.

"Did you hear that?" Leonard asked.

"Yeah. I wonder what's going on in there." Penny said with a naughty face.

They put their ears on the door to listen further. "Ha! You're mine," a male voice that could only be Sheldon's said. "Oh no mister, you're not dominating on this one," replied a female voice.

"I think that's Amy." Leonard said.

"Good for her. The last time I heard her giggle that loudly was like ages ago. Should we come in? Do you think their decent?"

"They could use some interruption. I badly need a change of clothes and we need to get a DVD we can watch in your apartment…and oh by the way, I seriously doubt they're doing what you think they're doing."

"Don't I know it. That was just wishful thinking, Honey. Amy got me worried when she cancelled. I'm glad Sheldon helped her out with whatever that was," Penny said as she started knocking.

"Sheldon? Amy? Are you dressed?" their blonde friend jokingly inquired.

Sheldon opened the door for them. "Of course we're fully clothed. What kind of question is that?"

The engaged couple entered and surveyed the room. They saw take out containers on one side of the table and scrabble tiles and stacks of flash cards on the other. Sheldon went back to his spot on the couch beside Amy, who was busy computing something on a notebook.

Amy smiled at Penny. "Hey, bestie. Sorry about earlier. I saw the pictures you emailed. Can you give me until tomorrow afternoon for my comment on each one?"

"No problem, Ames. God knows I need a break from all that wedding planning," she said. Sheldon and Amy resumed their activity, which involved counting words and tiles.

"Let's see I still have tweepadock, planko and janko. I'm telling you Shelly I'm winning this one," Amy said.

"Ho-hold on. We haven't finished counting my tiles yet," he said, pointing at the collection of odd words laid down on his side of the table.

This piqued Leonard's interest. "What the hell are you guys playing? And where's the scrabble board?"

"We're playing anagrab," Amy answered.

"It's a variation of scrabble first documented by Richard Sharp in 1976. It combines the words anagram and grab, which forms the essence of the game." Sheldon explained enthusiastically.

Amy continued. "All we do is put down tiles on the table and form words using them—

"The anagram part," Sheldon interrupted while Amy nodded.

"Yes and then the grab part. You can steal words formed by the other player by rearranging the tiles to form new words or by combining them with the new tiles. It is really fun. Join us!" Amy said.

"Great, nothing like word games to awaken my very tired brain. Not to mention the words you're using for this game are really weird. Don't tell me that's from Star Trek." Penny said, visibly suppressing a yawn.

"Of couse not. I suppose if you're gonna join us, you will have to learn Amy's made-up language. Here." Sheldon said, handing her the stack of flash cards. "You can skip cards 11-18 as those are grammar rules. You don't really need to construct sentences on this one so you won't need them."

"No, sweetie. I'm fine, no need for that."

"But how are you gonna play with us?" the physicist asked.

Amy leaned onto him and whispered. "I think that was sarcasm. She really didn't want to play."

"Oh. Drats."

Penny winked at Amy. Leonard came out of his room, wearing new clothes and holding a DVD. "You ready?" he asked Penny. "Yes," she said but something caught her eyes. It's another thick stack of papers that look like tickets. "Wait, what are those? Are you going on some play we don't know about?"

"These are Cooler coupons, whoever wins the game gets one," Amy answered. "And it looks like I'm winning this one, so…" she moved to reach the coupons but Penny beat her to it.

"Cooler coupons?" Leonard asked as Penny started flipping through the stack.

"Yes," Sheldon said and sighed. Why do they have to explain everything? "An amalgamation of our names Cooper Fowler. It's made up of services only one of us can give anyone. We would have settled for another name but Cooler sounds, well, cool. Shamy also came up but it's—

"Juvenile," Sheldon and Amy said in unison and shook their heads.

Penny rolled her eyes. "It's cute though."

"No" The two objected again. "Hmmm…we also considered calling it Coop-Fowl coupons but coop means cage and fowl is hen. It kind of sounded like I was caging Amy, the fowl. We don't want that." Sheldon explained.

"Yeah. Let's see what's here." Penny said. "One hour guided neck massage. What the hell is that?"

"That's Amy's. With her knowledge of the nervous system, she can guide anyone in giving themselves a soothing neck massage. I'd really like to have that one." Sheldon said excitedly.

Leonard and Penny looked at each other. After all these years, their friends' quirks still surprise them. Penny continued reading through the coupons. "One session on Sheldon's laundry folding technique?"

It was Amy's turn to answer. "Well, with Sheldon's technique of folding clothes after laundry, you can save approximately 2.8 seconds per item of clothing. That is a very efficient use of one's time."

Leonard smirked. "He uses a plastic slab to fold his clothes. No technique there."

"No. You haven't seen me organize my socks and underpants yet, that is part of the technique, Leonard." Sheldon defended himself. "I believe the two of you have sufficiently disturbed our game. If you don't mind handing Amy the coupons so she could get one."

Penny handed the stack to her bestie, who randomly plucked one out from Sheldon's coupons.

"Hmmm. I got 'Wall-E for Halloween'. For Halloween this year Sheldon will prepare a couple's costume patterned after the robot couple Wall-E and Eve," Amy read and looked over at Sheldon who was beaming at her. "That sounds lovely. It will be difficult to dress up as Wall-E though."

"That's why I put it in there this early," he said.

"A robot couple's costume for Shamy? That's a bit redundant, wouldn't you say?"commented Leonard.

"Leonard! Don't be like that," Penny said. "They are just being practical. If they dress up as a robot couple, they wouldn't actually need a lot of costume, would they?"

"Yeah, you have a point." Leonard continued with the teasing as they stepped out of the apartment.

Sheldon and Amy just looked at each other and smiled. "Muggles." Sheldon said.

Amy checked her watch, a little while after Leonard and Penny left. "Sheldon, it's been a pleasant evening but I think I have to go."

Sheldon, however, didn't want to be separated from Amy yet. Although he knew it would probably be awkward, Sheldon took the risk. "It's late, maybe you can stay the night?" he said shyly. "You can take my room. I'll sleep on the couch."

"Tempting," Amy said, considering his offer. "Let me take the couch instead. Besides, I am smaller than you."

"Amy, I can't let you do that. You're my guest."

"Let's share your bed then." She said, surprised that such words would slip through her mouth. But then, much of what had been going on that night astonished her. It was like some forgotten habits, words and feelings were surreptitiously coming back to her.

Sheldon hesitated for a moment but later on realized that he liked the idea. "Very well. We're both tired to do anything else anyway."

"Yes I'm tired. But what else were you thinking we would do?" Amy said.

"No. Nothing. Nevermind," he said, wondering why such thoughts entered his mind. It was because of that kiss, he thought.

An hour later, after they have cleaned the apartment and finished their night rituals, the couple laid down on Sheldon's bed. Both were in a rigid and straight position, like vampires in a coffin, with pillows between them. Sheldon reached out and took Amy's hand but before he could ask, Amy said—

"It's okay. Good night, Sheldon."

"Good night, Amy," he said and dozed off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was already midday when Sheldon woke up and naturally Amy was no longer beside him. He had awakened in the middle of the night, while Amy was sleeping, to search about the primate lab incident and devise a plan to help his girlfriend. She was still sound asleep when he came back to bed but the hours of research took a toll on him, causing him to oversleep.

He prepared for office and checked his email. He saw one from President Siebert, which he read dismissively, and another one from Amy. He excitedly opened the email.

"Notice of termination" it read.

It was a notice to terminate their relationship; she was breaking up with him.

This must be a very bad joke, Sheldon told himself. How could it be true? They were doing great and last night was the best they had since he came back. It made no sense.

He dialed her number but his call went straight to voice mail. Something's wrong but what could it be? He quickly got out of the apartment and went to Amy's place. She wasn't there; the security told him that she left in a hurry carrying a huge bag.

No, no, no, no, no. She wouldn't do that. Sheldon ran off to the university to check her lab but she wasn't there.

"The department chair suspended her this morning pending the investigation," the graduate assistant in the lab said. "Heard there were talks with UCLA too about her status there. Rumor is she's advised to resign to avoid the undue publicity. Moving to another state might not be that bad for her career."

The graduate assistant irked Sheldon so much he stomped on his way out of the lab. How dare they treat Amy like that? Nobody asked their opinion on what's good for her career. The nerve of these dunces!

He was irritated he could barely breathe but mostly it was because he was afraid. His mind was running off with the possibilities of what Amy could've done after she found out about the suspension. What if the rumor was true? The thought scared Sheldon so much, he felt like he was really close to hyperventilating.

He found Leonard, Howard, and Raj in the cafeteria. "Have you seen Amy?" he asked right away.

"Oh, hey Sheldon. Good day to you too," Howard said.

"Answer my question! Where's Amy?" he said, almost yelling.

"Ho, buddy. Slow down. We saw her this morning. She seemed distracted but who wouldn't be? We heard about the incident at her lab," Leonard said.

"We told her we're just here if she needs us but it kinda looked like she didn't want help," Raj said.

Sheldon felt his nails digging on his palms as he clenched his fist to control his emotions. "What did she tell you?"

That's when the gang sensed that something was amiss. Howard spoke slowly as realization hit him, "She said: it's fine. I can always start again somewhere else anyway. And left."

"Oh, God." Raj said. "We should have stopped her."

Sheldon felt like collapsing. This must be how she felt when he left, despite her efforts to help and cheer him up.

He slouched down on the chair and looked at his friends. "Why did you let her leave?" he sobbed and covered his face with his hands.


	14. Chapter 14

Sheldon was still holding her hand when she woke up, his grasp loose but comforting. Amy overslept by twenty minutes and knew that she had to move fast to make it to the lab on time. As she tried to get up, however, her eyes inadvertently swept over her sleeping boyfriend's face, making her temporarily forget what she set out to do.

She ended up staying in bed for ten more minutes, just watching him and savoring the warmth that emanated from his touch. He remained in that straight sleeping position, looking tired but relaxed, as if the things that bothered him that night was now under his control.

Amy sensed that her worries had slightly faded too, all because of the man beside her. She turned, positioned her face closer to his, and marveled at the effect he had on her. Her brows furrowed as she thought about how he made everything around her appear brighter all of a sudden, how every activity became more enjoyable, and how every contact, even the slightest, briefest touch, made her feel more alive than she had been in the past four months.

The sound of the alarm clock jolted Amy out of her reverie. She swiftly got out of bed, fixed herself and absent-mindedly kissed the still asleep Sheldon on the cheek before she went home and prepared for work.

"I'm afraid I have to put you on preventive suspension" were the words that greeted her when she reached her office. "As I am sure you understand," the department chair continued, "we are only being cautious to protect the lab and the research you're part of."

"I understand," she replied, without any expression on her face. But, when she got to her lab to pick up her things, the gravity of the situation started to sink in. She fell dejectedly on a chair; luckily, no one else was there to witness her misery.

I should have stayed in bed,she thought. She wanted very badly to call Sheldon, to run back to him for comfort. As she tried to breathe properly, Amy struggled to recall the calm she experienced when she woke up that morning. But, the moment was too weak and was easily overpowered by other moments with him that filled Amy with emotions she did not need at that situation.

She remembered him freaking out when the university did not allow him to change his field of study, when Leonard and Penny started discussing their living arrangements, when she suggested moving in. She remembered him mocking her and running away. How then would he handle this? Having a girlfriend who's slowly falling into disrepute? His name being associated with someone under suspension and investigation for incompetence?

Sheldon would leave her.

The fear stabbed through Amy, causing pain so intense it numbed her instantly and buried last night's happiness rapidly. She stared blankly at the floor as the wheels in her mind started turning, devising ways to protect itself before it could be hurt further.

Her tears did not even have the chance to fall. When her walls were rebuilt, Amy felt silly for almost crying over something that she can actually get out of. Forget California. Forget friends. Forget Sheldon. She's going back to Harvard, where she could start again and work on making her defenses impenetrable. With that in mind, she made the relationship termination notice, went home and packed.

The problem, however, was that her walls, her defense system was a lot weaker this time for even though the feelings from last night and the morning after had been buried, it created an irreversible crack. She intended to leave the state but, when she drove past the zoo, the sentimental spot triumphed over her rational, mechanical cover.

The zoo had always been a special place for Amy. She would visit the area to observe monkeys and relax. When she met Sheldon, it became even more important as they spent a lot of time there, having fun, exchanging trivia and unique observations.

Amy stared at the monkeys, unmindful of the passing time and unsure of what she hoped to gain in the activity. She had been there for quite a while when she felt a man standing close to her.

"You're running away," the man said.

She looked up and shivered, when his tired, sad eyes met hers. She turned her attention back to the monkeys and, in her signature monotonous voice, said: "At least I didn't leave you hanging. As I said in the email, I am releasing you from your obligations to me as my boyfriend."

"Don't leave. Please." Sheldon said, his eyes fixed on her.

"You did it. Why can't I do it?"

She was detached but her words cut very deeply through Sheldon. He blinked several times to control the tears in his eyes. He looked down on his feet and swallowed hard before he followed her gaze and, like her, began to stare blankly at the monkeys swinging from branch to branch inside their cage.

"As usual, your logic is hard to refute. I guess if it will make you happy, then…" he paused and shook his head, "I…what I wanted to say was I was wrong to leave you, Amy. I should have asked you to come with me or stayed here and dealt with my issues here, with you beside me. There were many things I shouldn't have done because I was selfish. I've been like this all my life but by the time that I realized that my life is now tied to yours and my happiness is dependent on yours, it was too late. I have already caused you pain. I'm sorry."

Sheldon paused while Amy remained still and silent, just listening to him. He breathed in and out to compose himself before he continued.

"You once said that love is a ridiculous social construct that adds no value to human relationships. There were times that I found myself agreeing with you. It complicates our already complex lives and it is needlessly painful."

"Indeed," she said.

Sheldon continued. "During my sabbatical, I thought I was ill because there was this heaviness in my chest that wouldn't go away. I realized later on after I saw your face on my screen and heard your voice on the other line that you were the cause of my affliction.

"I would wake up and find that I could barely breathe knowing I would not see you that day. I would attend silly lectures and wish that you were beside me to criticize those know-it-alls. I would have new ideas and feel empty not having been able to share and laugh about it with you. For the first time in my life, I felt stupid…for allowing myself to get close to you. I wondered: why would anyone want to experience this emotion if it comes with this much pain? It was unbearable and very ridiculous."

"Then, I remembered all the time I spent with you: our trips to the zoo, dinners, date nights, the time we cuddled, hugged, the first time I held your hand, the first time you kissed me, the first time I kissed you and the times we did it after. And I realized that the pain was more than worth it. Before I met you, I was bored and sure of how my life will turn out to be but when you came, I got confused but I also felt excited and very happy. Suddenly, it was no longer stupid; it was not ridiculous after all."

He paused again to calm himself. He glanced at Amy and saw that, although her attention seemed to be on the primates, she was having difficulty breathing as well.

"I know the pain I've felt is nothing compared with what you've gone through all these years because of me. So, I'm begging you, let me be there for you even if it's for the last time.

"Stay and I will do everything I can to fix this bureaucratic nonsense in the university. And, if after this, you still want to go, you still want to terminate your relationship with me, then… I guess I deserve it."

At that, Amy turned to look at him; he met her eyes.

"But, I'll probably run after you or become a hippie trying to get you back," he added.

"Sheldon, I am a scientist slowly falling into disrepute. Are you sure you want to be known as my boyfriend?" she asked.

"Yes. I don't care what they accuse you of or what they think of you. I love you. You will always be brilliant to me," he said.

She chuckled as she wiped a tear that fell down her cheek. "How did you know I was here?"

He smiled and wiped his eyes as well. "I wanted to clear my head and make a plan on how to find you. And this place, well, you're here. You know it's special...Does this mean you're accepting my proposition?"

She nodded and planted a very quick kiss on his lips.

"Do you want to see the koalas?"

"I'd love that," he said and took her hand.

_[I'm a sucker for short, subtle romantic declarations and I suck at big heart-to-heart talks. Unfortunately for me, the scene required the latter so I apologize if the zoo exchange did not come out as good.]_


	15. Chapter 15

The apartment was set for their dinner meeting: takeout food was laid out on the table, the chairs arranged and the whiteboard placed in a spot visible to all. Now, all the couple needed to do was to wait for their friends to arrive.

Amy busied herself with tea in the kitchen while Sheldon worked on the agenda of the emergency meeting he called, for what he referred to as a primate rescue operation. On the board was a printed map of the university and some notes on time, teams and their tasks.

"That should do it," Sheldon said after he finished writing the last details. He glanced over the kitchen and saw Amy pouring hot water into their mugs. The sight uplifted him. _She's here now. Really here. With me, _he assured himself.

Earlier, when he thought he had lost her, he was devastated. He rushed to her favorite places—the museum, the theater, the cadaver lab—but she was nowhere to be found. That's when he decided to go to the zoo. Between the two of them, it was him who was fonder of the place, which was why it was last on his list. By then, Sheldon knew that the likelihood of her being there was already slim. He went there nonetheless because it was a happy place for him, for them, and it would help him to think of what to do next.

And then he saw her. He employed a tremendous amount of effort to prevent himself from running towards her and crushing her in his arms. He stood there, unable to even blink for fear that she would disappear again. It took him a while before he was able to gather the courage to talk to her.

"Are you okay?" Amy asked, as she walked to him carrying their drink.

"Oh. I'm fine. I'm just really glad I saw you at the zoo," he said and took the mug she offered to him.

She was about to say something when Leonard, Howard and Raj walked in, followed shortly by Penny, Bernadette, and Emily.

"You're suspended?" Leonard said.

"Yes, why are you asking about it? I already told you guys about that," Amy inquired.

"No, Amy. He was asking Sheldon. We heard just before we left the university that Siebert suspended him," Raj corrected her.

Amy looked questioningly at Sheldon. "I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you. It's nothing serious," he explained. "Siebert emailed me this morning. It's just a two-day suspension for hacking the university server last night. I have to say those tech guys are improving, they detected my activity right away."

"Hmm. That's why. Don't worry about it then, Amy. He does that often to irk Siebert," Leonard said dismissively.

Sheldon gestured for them to sit down while he remained standing beside the white board.

"Except this time, I didn't do it to irk him. I was trying to tap into the security cameras and look for the video they're using to incriminate my girlfriend. But, after my exploration last night, I found that the footage cannot be accessed and copied without actually going through the security room. That's why I called you…Gentlemen, ladies, I am officially commencing our meeting."

Amy had been looking at Sheldon the whole time he was explaining. Since his speech at the zoo, she found herself adoring him more and more as the hours passed by. She recalled how firmly he held her hand as they wandered around the zoo and how he smiled at her as they watched the koalas. She was mesmerized upon seeing his koala face again but, when he turned to look at her, his expression changed in a way she didn't think possible: his charming face became absolutely heart-melting. And somehow, she knew that that face, that smile was meant only for her.

She took her usual spot on the couch, still observing Sheldon. He put his mug down on the table, adjusted the board, and looked at her with that same smile. He held her gaze, making her feel like they were the only ones in the room.

_He's right. The feeling trumps all the pain,_ she thought. She realized that she was willing to risk it once more because everything felt better with him and with their friends. It was bright, warm, and happy unlike the dark, cold, and gloomy escape she almost took again a while ago.

Penny sat beside Amy and hugged her. "Don't you worry now sweetie, it's gonna be alright." Emily and Bernie nodded in agreement.

"Ehem," Sheldon started. "As you know, Amy has been put on preventive suspension pending the administrative inquiry on a missing primate on her lab."

"Wait a minute," Penny interrupted him. "I don't get why their giving so big a deal to this missing monkey. It's not like they can replace it with another one, can't they?"

"Good question, Penny. Folks, I direct your attention to a 2012 news report on a monkey incident at Harvard." Sheldon said, showing them a webpage on his tablet.

"In that particular incident, a lab monkey escaped from its cage and later turned up dead. Now, that triggered a federal probe by the US Department of Agriculture for possible violations of the Animal Welfare Act. That's what Caltech is trying to prevent. First, they are afraid that the monkey, with its Caltech tag might turn up dead somewhere. And second, they fear the possible media and federal attention the incident might attract.

"Amy, being the last person on record of handling the monkey and the lead for that research, had to take primary and subsidiary responsibility for the incident. The university, through its inquiry, wanted to show authorities that it had not been remiss in its duties of supervising researchers and ensuring adherence to animal welfare laws in the lab, thereby reducing the possible penalties in the event that the monkey indeed met a terrible fate."

Penny nodded, a bit irritated. "God, still feels like a bit of an overreaction to me."

"I agree. We in the pharmaceutical business were not treated as strictly but I guess the money has something to do with it." Bernie said. "Alright, let's find that monkey!"

"Yeah! Let's do this." the rest of the gang agreed.

Sheldon went on to discuss the plan he made, which included a task for everyone. They would carry out the operation the following night, since only two guards work on the security computer room during that shift.

"That's about it. I expect everyone to be prepared by tomorrow night," Sheldon said.

"Or I could just ask one of the security boys for a copy of that clip," Howard said, skeptical of the plan.

"Howard, if someone stole that monkey and altered the security tapes, such action might alert the true culprit. Let's not risk it, shall we?" Sheldon countered.

"Fine," Howard replied. "On the bright side, it could be fun. We'd be like superheroes on a covert operation, minus the fact that Raj and I will be tied to the computers."

"Oh, Howie. You know Penny and I run faster than you. At least, you don't get driver duties like Emily and Leonard," Bernie said.

Leonard smiled sympathetically at Emily. "Yeah. I'd still need my inhaler though, just in case."

"Of course you do, Honey" Penny said, patting Leonard on the back.

"Thank you for doing this." Amy told everyone. "You know, whatever the outcome of this operation would be, I'd like to treat you with tickets to the newly-opened human body exhibit in the museum. They display preserved cadavers and body parts. Some are even displayed in peculiar poses. You'd love it," she giggled.

"Ahm…We're happy to do it, Bestie. You don't have to treat us to anything," Penny said and everyone agreed.

"Are you sure? The display is wonderful and educational." the neurobiologist asked.

"Yep, pretty sure," Raj said and promptly changed the subject "Dinner everyone?"

"Alright. Let's eat," Sheldon said as he sat down beside Amy, briefly touching her hand. "I'll go with you. I just hope the place don't smell of formaldehyde." Amy responded by moving closer to him. "Great. I'm sure it doesn't but I'll bring masks and gloves just the same."

The gang shared knowing smiles and glances as they caught the attraction and affection between the two, even when they did the most mundane of things for the rest of the night.


	16. Chapter 16

The plan was fairly simple. The goal was to get the two security personnel on duty out of the room so they could sneak in, get remote access to the server, and search and copy the files they needed. True, there might be easier ways to accomplish the task but, since they allowed Sheldon to lead this for Amy, they just had to do it his way.

"Hmm, this could be fun. We'll see," Penny said as she and Bernadette stepped out of Emily's car.

"Good luck, girls. I'll wait for you here. Just remember the fastest way to get to this parking spot and I'll get you out of here in no time," Emily remarked, winking at them.

Bernadette walked ahead of Penny. "Ugh, that ginger tea tastes weird. I hope that's enough to prepare my vocal chords for this," the microbiologist said, tucking the drink back to her bag.

"Emily gave you that? Now that's funny," Penny said referring to the drink. Bernie merely frowned at her.

"A ginger drink from a ginger girl. Get it?" Penny laughed but abruptly stopped when she noticed Bernie scowling at her. "Yeah, forget it. God, wonder what happened to my sense of humor. Tsk."

It was eight in the evening. In a few minutes, the third security personnel would end his shift and the two of them can start their magic. Penny looked around and heaved a breath of relief. "Oh good. I didn't know people leave their offices here early."

"Yeah, well. It's a university, Penny, not a bar. Some stay overtime but their noses are probably too deep in their books or microscopes to care about other things by this time," Bernadette replied.

Penny's phone rang when they reached their spot. "Primate team 1 to Primate team 2. Over," Sheldon's voice from the other end said.

Penny rolled her eyes and answered: "Primate team 2? Really, Sheldon?"

"What? You want to be Primate team 1?"

"That's not what I…You know what nevermind. We're in position," the blonde replied over the phone.

"Security personnel 3 has left his post. I repeat security personnel 3 has left his post. Your move, Primate team 2. Over."

"Fine. We're on it." Penny said and turned to Bernie. "Ready?"

"Yeah," and Bernie walked to the other direction.

Pulling her dress down to reveal more cleavage, Penny walked seductively to the control room and bit her lip. "Ahm, excuse me," she said with a very sexy voice. "I need your help. I was walking my dog inside the building but she kinda ran off after seeing some skinny weirdo in the corridor. I've been looking all over."

"We did not see any dog on our cameras, ma,am," one of the two men in the room replied stiffly.

"Are you saying I'm lying?" Penny replied and sat on the man's desk, swinging her legs playfully. "Oh my poor chihuhua. My poor baby. If only someone could show me around the building. I'm sure I'll find her."

She noticed the guy in front of her getting affected by her acting. _Time to raise it up a notch, _she thought. With that, she lifted her hand and sexily massaged the back of her neck and faked some tears. "Oh the stress, my poor, poor baby."

The guy turned to other with a naughty smile and nodded. "Alright, ma'am. I guess I can help you. Here." The guy handed her a tissue and led her out of the room.

"Bernie!" Penny shouted. "Time to leave, sweetie. Bernie!"

That was Bernie's cue. But, she would not bark like a dog. Her task was to get the remaining staff out by screaming at the top of her lungs to force him to leave the area unguarded and look for the source of the distressed sound. She sat on her hiding spot and waited for some time to ensure that Penny and her guy had gotten a little farther away from the room.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

A high-pitched, glass-breaking scream startled the lone man in the control room. "What the hell?" he muttered and checked the cameras but could not find the source of the annoying sound.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

The screaming painfully went on and on, with a few second intervals, allowing the distressed person to breathe in between the annoying sounds. Covering his ears, the man panicked and ran out to personally check out what was happening; the screaming lunatic could not be far anyway.

As soon as Bernie heard the footsteps, she moved farther away from the control room, hid and started her shrilling cry again. _Good thing no one else is in here. I feel like an idiot._

The now disturbed man entered the room where she's hiding. But thanks to her height, she managed to sneak out and lock the room from the outside. "Great. I should try this with Howard some time." she said with a satisfied smile and called Sheldon. "Hey, Primate team 1. It's your turn." And she walked back to the parking lot.

Amy couldn't help but smile as she watched Sheldon sneak into the empty room. _He looks like a praying mantis walking on tip toe, _she thought. _A very sexy one though_. She stood on the door to serve as a lookout while her boyfriend started fiddling on the computer.

"Primate team 1 to Primate team 3. Over," he said over the phone.

"Yes, we're here Sheldon," Howard replied. He was in apartment 4a with Raj.

"Hey, I thought you'd choose a cooler team name. I was really looking forward to a superhero-sounding, action-packed name for our adventure," Raj commented.

"Raj, the time for objections had already lapsed," Sheldon said. "Wolowitz, I have copied the footage we needed. Are you getting the feeds, now? You should scour their database for other things that might be useful."

"Hold on. Just give me a few minutes." Howard said and continued typing.

Sheldon was about to scold Howard when Amy's phone rang.

"Hey, Ames. I, ahm, well sort of got caught by the other guy when I messed up my story," Penny said, as she got inside Emily's car.

"At first it was a Chihuahua, when they got to the stairs her dog was a chow chow, and when they reached the next floor, her pet was a pitbull. It's really amusing. Thanks for leaving your phone on. I'm glad I didn't miss the fun." Amy heard Emily laughing on the other line.

"Yeah, I was distracted; it's hard to keep him from running back to the control room when Bernadette screamed you know. Anyway, Ames you better finish up, he maybe on his way there now," Penny said and turned to Emily and Bernie. "Let's go, ladies. For all we know that guy is still looking for me. I cannot get banned from a place that isn't a bar. I have reputation to maintain."

"Okay, thanks for the heads-up bestie," Amy said as the call ended. "Sheldon, we need to hurry."

"There!" They heard Raj said on the speaker phone. "Alright, we're downloading and we'll disconnect on our own. They'll never know what we did. You guys can leave now."

Sheldon stood up to leave but Amy stopped him. "Too late, I saw the guy walking at the far end of the corridor."

"What do we do?" her boyfriend started to panic, as he looked around for a way out.

"Let me handle this," Amy said.

Sheldon froze in shock when Amy pulled him towards her, lifted his shirt a little, and unbuckled his belt.

"What—"

But his protest was silenced when Amy showered his face and neck with kisses, leaving kiss marks everywhere, while tousling his hair. She then tousled her own hair, unbuttoned two of her cardigans, and crumpled her skirt a little. "Just go with it," she whispered and kissed him firmly on the lips. Everything happened so fast and all Sheldon managed to do was hold on to her waist to keep them steady.

"And what do you think you're doing?" the control room guy said as he entered the room and saw the kissing couple.

Sheldon was stunned to see how Amy quickly fixed herself and started speaking in her detached, robotic tone. "Well, obviously, my boyfriend and I found ourselves in urgent need of sexual release."

Sheldon nonetheless caught up and helped her. "Seeing how this room is empty and well-lit, you can't really blame us for stopping by and taking advantage of the opportunity to have a quick round of coitus."

The guy's jaw dropped open at their bluntness and manner of speaking.

"Now thanks to your rude interruption and ape-like expression, my arousal has just diminished. We better go," Amy said and hurriedly walked out of the room with Sheldon.

"Wait a second," the guy said, following them. By then, Sheldon and Amy were already running. They turned and hid in one of the rooms. When the guy passed by without seeing them, they got out and went to the other directions as planned. They reached the parking lot where Leonard was waiting inside his car.

"Go, go, go, go, go," Sheldon said as he closed the car door.

"Oh, okay. Here we go. Hang on to your seats," Leonard said, breathed through his inhaler, and drove off.


	17. Chapter 17

_[I was hesitant at first to add in that amount of humor in the previous chapter, given that the story had been serious for the most part, but I'm really glad it turned out fine. We're also past the hurt part anyway and, since the story is approaching its end, expect lighter scenes from here on. Thanks for reading! __]_

Sheldon's cheeks were flushed. The area in his stomach where Amy touched him earlier to distract the guard was burning, the heat spreading to other parts of his body. If it was the old him, he would've associated that heat with the transmission of diseases that accompanies physical contact. But this was different.

The sensation made his body ache for more. He closed his eyes, reliving the feeling of her fingers grazing his skin as she lifted his shirt and undid his belt. The adrenalin from their escape had started to die down but immediately he sensed the buildup of a novel kind of excitement inside him. He brought his hand up to touch his neck, where Amy's lips had been. Her kisses that night were quick but it didn't make the experience any less electrifying.

He looked longingly at her slightly parted lips. She was seated beside him in Leonard's car and was gazing out the window. Her hair was still a little disheveled and her clothes wrinkled in some places. Her face and neck were pinkish as well, her breathing as unsteady as his.

"You know how the two of you look like, right?" Leonard broke the silence.

"How do we look like?" Sheldon said, thankful for the distraction.

"Well, let's see. Flushed skin, messy hair and clothes. Not to mention, lipstick all over your face and neck," Leonard explained while driving. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you did something naughty in the control room."

"Oh. But we did," Amy said proudly.

"Really?"

"Why yes, Leonard," Sheldon responded. "We perpetrated a clever ruse to divert the guard's attention by pretending that we're about to have intercourse in their abandoned office."

"Right. I was thinking about a different kind of naughty but I guess that's close enough. Here." Leonard said, handing Sheldon a box of tissue.

"What's this for?" Sheldon asked after taking the box.

"I, ahm, I thought you may want to wipe the kiss marks off your face."

The lanky physicist shot him a look. "Why would I do that? I don't see you wiping Penny's kisses off your face."

Leonard sighed while Amy watched her boyfriend's demeanor with amusement. "If others see you like that and me like this, people might talk," she said and gave him a small mirror.

Sheldon saw his reflection, shook his head, and pouted childishly. "Aww, I don't want to…"

"Tell you what. You wipe my lipstick off your face and I'll kiss you again later on those same spots, this time without marks," Amy said, smiling.

"Alright," he replied and proceeded to clean his face rather enthusiastically.

Leonard couldn't help but smirk at what just transpired. "I don't know what shocked me more, the naughty control room diversion or this kiss mark negotiation. Of course, it's always fun to creep myself up just thinking about it." He remarked in a voice that's barely audible but which nonetheless earned him another haughty look from Sheldon.

They both had fixed themselves when they reached the apartment, where they were met with celebratory hugs from their friends.

"Oh, you're gonna love what we found on those videos," Raj said cheerfully, as he led them in front of the computer where Howard was seated.

They then gathered around Howard. "Okay, look here. This is the shot of Amy putting the monkey back to the cage and locking it up. If you fast forward until you reach the end, you'll see that no one else accessed the lab, correct?" the engineer said.

"I believe that was their only basis for Amy taking the fall for this incident," Bernadette said.

"But if you look at the time stamp…" Howard said.

Sheldon rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Just as I thought, manipulating the video. Oldest cliché in the book. I bet you a dollar the culprit was the stupidest person in Amy's lab, a student perhaps."

"Yep." Howard continued. "We retrieved the unaltered file and this is what we got."

He played the file, which showed a young woman unlocking the cage and taking the animal out of the lab.

"That's the graduate assistant I saw in your lab the other day," Sheldon said.

Amy cleared her throat. "Yes, that is my assistant. I should have known. She's been too attached to that monkey lately. It's a relief though at least I know that it certainly is still alive."

"And how do you know that?" Penny asked.

"Well, she kinda went through a tough breakup with her boyfriend and started transferring her affections to him. She said the sounds the monkey produces when it's excited and hungry remind her of the sounds her lover used to make during sex," Amy said.

The gang was disturbed with the explanation, save for Bernadette and Howard who remembered their talk about sex sounds. "That's really creepy," Howard said, feigning disgust.

"Yeah," followed Bernadette, "can't imagine sounding like an ape during lovemaking. That's gotta be a real mood killer."

Sheldon changed the topic. "Anyway, now that we know who is responsible, all we have to do is retrieve that monkey and—"

"I appreciate all that you've done for me but I think you should leave the rest of the matter to my hands. I am more adept in academic politics than most of you and additionally, the culprit is a person working under my close supervision, I believe I can now handle this," Amy said.

"Are you sure, sweetie? Cause I wouldn't mind putting my acting skills for you again," Penny said.

"Thank you, Bestie. I just have to talk to her, get our lab animal back, and then suggest an appropriate action to the university. I believe a public apology from our department chair is also fitting. Don't worry. This will be over in no time," she replied.

"Excellent," Sheldon said. "How about a late night snack to celebrate our successful operation? My treat."

"Free food. Who'll disagree with that," Penny laughed, as they took their respective spots and Sheldon arranged the food delivery.

After their celebration, Sheldon accompanied Amy back to her apartment. He wanted to talk to her about the status of their relationship because based on their talk at the zoo Amy's agreement to be with him was a little vague.

He however observed that she was tired already and decided that it would be best to defer that discussion to some other time.

Amy turned to him upon reaching her door. "Thank you, Sheldon, for going through this with me," she said as she opened her apartment. "Would you like to come in?"

"No, thank you. I think you should rest now."

"Okay. Good night, Sheldon," she replied. Sheldon, however, simply looked at his feet and did not show any indication that he was leaving.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Ahm, well," he answered shyly. "I believe you owe me six kisses?"

"Oh, of course," she said, suppressing a smile. She breathed in and, in a detached tone, said: "I don't have an eidetic memory so you'll have to tell me where those kisses were. Okay?"

He nodded, noting the change in her tone. He knew Amy had recovered from her robotic state but it scared him a little to hear her speak that way again. He lowered his face so she could kiss him.

"The first one is here," he said, pointing at his forehead.

"Uhuh." She tiptoed a little and kissed the spot, still pretending to be unaffected by his charm.

"Then, here." Sheldon continued, this time pointing to his left cheek.

Another kiss. This time, Amy lingered for a moment, a smile threatening to escape her lips. Luckily, Sheldon's eyes were closed so he didn't see that she was also affected by what they're doing.

He opened his eyes and directed her to the tip of his nose, where the third kiss landed. Amid the feelings running through his body, he struggled to read Amy's expression. She was inscrutable. It didn't look like she disliked kissing him but there was no indication that she was enjoying it either.

"Uhm, fourth one is here," he said, his index finger resting on one corner of his lips.

Amy stopped and looked incredulously at him. "I don't have an eidetic memory but I know that the fourth kiss wasn't there. I also don't remember giving you a partial lip kiss."

Sheldon smiled playfully at her. "I'm just messing with you." She was about to retort when he grabbed her waist and gave her quick peck on the lips.

"I believe that's the sixth kiss. Just point me to the fourth and fifth locations that you skipped so we can get this over with," she said, her put-on indifference starting to wane.

_Am I the only one enjoying this? _Sheldon thought, as he missed yet another indication that she was only pretending. He sighed. With one arm still around her waist, he used his other hand to point her to his upper right jaw, just beneath his earlobe.

Amy caught the frustration in his sigh. _Time to drop the act_, she told herself. She lifted her arms to his neck and grinned at him before kissing the fourth spot. "Don't mess with me, Dr. Cooper," she whispered.

"Amy!" he said, as he finally realized that she was feigning indifference all along.

"I know where the last kiss should be, you don't have to direct me," she said smugly.

Of course she remembered. All the other kisses she gave him in the control room were random, except for that one. She had always wanted to kiss him there and when the opportunity presented itself, she grabbed it, however briefly.

And now was another opportunity.

She lowered her face to his neck and let her lips touch the spot very lightly. She felt him swallow slowly, which only encouraged her to go further. She pressed harder against him, parted her lips, and let her mouth slide leisurely against his skin.

"Ooh, that feels good," Sheldon responded breathlessly. He wound both his arms around her waist, hugging her tighter and pulling her closer. Amy continued kissing his neck, nipping, sucking, tasting the sweet spot. The sensation was new to both of them and more than anything they had ever felt or expected to feel.

Both were blushing when Amy pulled back. She let her head rest on his shoulder as they waited for their breathing to return to normal. After a while, Amy disentangled from him and touched the collar of his coat to look at the spot she just kissed. It was now a shade of red. She gave him a satisfied smile and said, "Now that's a mark you won't be able to wipe off for a while."

"What do you mean?" Sheldon said.

"Well, Dr. Cooper, I believe I just gave you a hickey. Good night," she giggled as she hurriedly got inside her apartment and closed the door.

Sheldon was left standing in the corridor, blushing profusely. He wanted to touch the spot where Amy kissed him but he resisted, afraid that the mark would fade if he does. So, he moved his coat, taking care not to let the fabric touch the area, and walked away with his chin up and a wide smile on his face.


	18. Chapter 18

Amy, Bernadette, and Emily were hanging out at Penny's. They surprised her that night by showing up at her door with food, balloons, and gifts. They wanted to throw a more formal bridal shower for her but she told them beforehand to just skip it since they were all busy anyway.

It had been a while since they last spent that amount of time together without the guys and it was pure bliss. They danced, gossiped, watched a feel-good movie and acted out other stereotypical girly activities. Although they themselves felt that some of those things didn't entirely suit them, they just enjoyed the evening, laughed, and celebrated the experience.

Penny was observing the ladies in her living room while she was refilling their drinks in the kitchen. She sighed contentedly; she just couldn't ask for better friends. They had been very helpful in her wedding preparations and supportive of her career. And even when they had personal troubles to attend to, they made time for her and arranged for that special night.

It was a real wonder how they found their perfect companions in the four quirky guys, who were playing video games next door. She looked at the smiling faces of her gal pals and felt proud about their relationships. Her eyes eventually found Amy, her bestie, and her happiness became even greater. Amy had been in very tough situations lately that got everyone worried. Sheldon left and she walled up. When they thought she was on her way to recovery, there came the monkey problem and they almost lost her.

_Leonard was right, _Penny thought. _Amy is a very strong woman. _A few days ago, after they helped her find out what happened with the monkey, Amy confronted her assistant to retrieve the animal. She then stood up before her department chair and other university officials to tell them the truth about the incident. What amazed Penny most was how Amy got those old, sanctimonious guys to admit their lapses in handling the situation. She even managed to negotiate a milder sanction for her assistant.

Then, there was her influence on Sheldon. Of all the years that Penny had known the annoying physicist, it was only when they met Amy that she saw Sheldon consciously try to modify his behavior and put other people's needs above his own. He had also been helping Leonard with the wedding and in preparing for the impending change in their living arrangements.

Laying down the glasses in front of the girls, Penny noted how Amy's eyes were no longer cold and vacant. She looked bright and dreamy just like Sheldon these days.

"Penny?" Bernadette stood beside her, "is everything alright?"

"Yes, I'm just happy we're happy. I mean, look at Amy," she said softly.

Bernadette beamed at her. "Yeah. Who would've thought? I heard they haven't talked about their relationship agreement yet but just the way they look at each other lately, you'd think they're the ones getting married."

Amy and Emily looked up at them. "Penny, you haven't opened Amy's gift yet," the red head said.

"Oh you're gonna like this one," Amy said, giving her a red box.

"Alright. Let's see," Penny said, taking her seat at the middle. She opened the box and saw a very sexy edible underwear. "Aww, bestie. Thank you. I've never been more touched by a whorish gift before," she said, laughing at her use of Amy's term for such things.

"I'm glad you like it. Sheldon and I bought that. We checked all the stores and that's the most comfortable-looking edible underwear we found. I think you'd also be happy to know that we checked the ingredients they put in there and I can tell you that not only will you enjoy an interesting sexual experience, you will also find a sweet treat in that melt-in-your-mouth garment."

"Okay, let's toast to that," Bernadette said to prevent Amy from going further, as she sensed a talk about oral sex coming up again.

"So, Amy. Did you and Dr. Whackadoodle do the naughty yet? I saw him proudly wearing a hickey after our little adventure," Penny asked after they consumed their drinks.

"If by naughty, you mean coitus, then no. But I did give him that hickey," the neurobiologist responded.

"Don't you find yourselves in need of sexual release lately?" Penny teased further, the alcohol starting to hit her.

"Well, I must admit that I no longer find it as off-putting as I did before and I feel that Sheldon does too. In fact, we had a little academic discussion about cunnilingus and fellatio when we were buying that gift. We're still both baffled by those practices of course but I remember him saying that it was interesting," Amy said.

"Okay, that deserves another toast," Bernadette said, as she tried to imagine the reaction of those at the mall who were unfortunate to hear that academic discussion. They once again clinked their glasses and downed their drinks.

The microbiologist then stood up to get more wine. "I see you're no longer refraining from alcohol Amy."

"Yes, the loss of inhibition as a result of alcohol consumption does have some advantage to it. For instance, that buzz, as bestie calls it, allows for more creativity. Something that we'll all need in our next activity," Amy said.

"Oh, game time!" declared Emily. And they all cheered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sheldon initially planned to have the relationship talk with Amy that night but since the girls were having a party for Penny, he decided to once again postpone the discussion. So, instead of having dinner with Amy, he sat in his apartment with Leonard, Howard and Raj and played videogames. His mind, nonetheless, was with the bespectacled neurobiologist who was currently partying next door.

He remembered his confession at the zoo and noted how she did not say "I love you" back to him. He was too confident before he ran way that Amy loves him so much but, when he came back and after the early treatment she gave him, Sheldon felt a strong need to hear her say the words. And, despite her displays of affection towards him in the past days, he doubted himself a little. _She's too kind and generous. What if she's just staying with me because I'm a pathetic mess without her? Because I practically begged her to stay?_

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The sound disrupted his train of thought. He got up and excused himself from the guys. He opened the door and saw a drunk Amy smiling at him.

"Hey, Sheldon. Could you step out for a minute?" she said.

"Amy, I told you not to drink too much alcohol," he replied, noting how alluring she looked even under the influence.

"Please," she implored him, her attractive eyes fluttering up at him.

"Alright. I think I have to chastise Penny anyway for making you drink too much," he said. He stepped out and closed the door. Immediately, he spotted Penny, Bernadette, and Emily giggling and trying to hide behind Penny's door. He moved towards their direction but Amy blocked him.

"Amy," he said in a reprimanding tone.

"I'm sorry, babe, I lost the game and this is my punishment," was Amy's reply before she cupped his face and kissed him passionately on the lips.

_Good lord, another inebriated kiss, _he thought. But, just like before, he closed his eyes and kissed her back. He then wrapped his arms around her waist to keep her steady.

Amy gave him a breathtaking smile when their lips separated. She gazed fondly at him while she caressed his cheek with one hand and touched his chest with the other.

"I love you," she said.

Sheldon's heart leapt with happiness. Granted she was drunk, but somehow he knew that her state only made her confession all the more honest.

"I hope you remember this tomorrow," he told her.

"If I don't, promise to remind me?"

"I promise," he said, before claiming her lips once more.


	19. Chapter 19

Amy woke up in a daze. The first time she opened her eyes, she saw the man of her dreams standing near her bed. She squinted, trying to process what was before her. Sheldon simply stared and smiled down at her. He was garbed in a robe, his bare chest and legs beautifully on display.

The image was blurry but she relaxed at the idea of waking up on the same room as him. _Must be another dream, _she thought, as she watched Sheldon turn around and step out of the room. She smiled and closed her eyes as sleepiness caught up with her again.

The second time was also hazy and dream-like. Sheldon was now lying beside her, wearing his red flash t-shirt. His face was close to her face and his eyes glued to hers. _This day is going to be wonderful._ Vivid dreams of Sheldon on bed with her never fail to lighten up her mood.

She lazily reached out to touch him. She let her fingers linger over his nose, tenderly tracing its outline.

"You are a very, very charming man," she said out loud before firmly pinching the tip of his nose.

"Ouch!" Sheldon flinched and shot up from the bed. He sat beside her and rubbed his nose. "What did you do that for?"

His voice woke Amy fully; it wasn't a dream after all. She looked at the bedside table, where she saw her glasses, and put it on. "I'm sorry. I thought I was dreaming." She laughed upon noticing the redness of his nose. "Aw, my head hurts."

"And whose fault is that?" Sheldon said, giving her a disapproving but adoring look.

She realized as she touched her head that she was inside Sheldon's room and was wearing one of his robes. She peaked inside the garment and saw that she was only in her underwear beneath it. That was the first time she passed out and woke up with less clothes on.

"Oh my. Did we…?"

"It will come back to you," he said with a playful smile.

Amy checked herself. Aside from the pain in her head, everything else felt the same. She would be extremely disappointed if their first time happened while she was drunk. She lifted her hands to fix her hair but stopped as she caught a whiff of Sheldon's scent on the robe she was wearing.

"This is nice." She hugged herself and sniffed the fabric covering her. "It smells like you."

Sheldon lay down on the bed again and pulled her to him. They ended up both on their sides, with their arms around each other in a tight embrace. Amy closed her eyes and buried her face in his chest.

"Sheldon, what happened last night?" she asked.

"Well, 'babe', I guess I just have to remind you," he said. He positioned Amy on her back and hovered over her. Amy got nervous and was suddenly uncertain about what transpired last night. Sheldon lowered his face and started trailing kisses on her jawline.

"Anything coming back to you yet?" he said, teasing her with his lips sliding down her neck.

"Uhmmm…hummmm," she bit her lip, struggling to get the words out of her mouth. Thankfully, he paused for a while to wait for her response. She let out a heavy breath and answered, "No."

He smiled seductively. "Hmm, very well, I'll just continue then." He was on her throat now, planting open-mouthed kisses on her. Amy's hands instinctively found its way at the back of his head and gently massaged his nape.

"Anything?" he inquired, his hand moving the fabric covering her shoulder. Amy felt the strap of her brassiere fall lower on her arm, as Sheldon kissed the exposed flesh. She was really nervous now. Just how far did they go last night?

The question, however, was quickly buried by the pleasure she was feeling from his kisses.

"Well?" he said. She opened her eyes; she didn't even notice that he had already stopped kissing her.

She pouted and shook her head. "Nothing. That's not fair, I was really drunk."

He merely laughed at her and planted one last kiss on her shoulder before putting the robe back to its place.

"Don't worry. That's the farthest we got. Partly because I wasn't keen on making love while you're intoxicated and partly because you vomited on me, on yourself and on the bed when I got to your shoulder. That's how we ended up sleeping in robes, since you ruined my Friday pajamas and the spare ones that I put on you," he explained.

"I'm sorry," she replied shyly.

"I don't mind. You also vomited after our first kiss so I know it's nothing personal," he said. "Now, I've already washed and dried your clothes and prepared a new towel and toothbrush for you in the bathroom. I suggest you clean yourself up while I prepare our very late breakfast."

After breakfast, Amy drove back to her apartment to run some errands. She couldn't help but smile when she remembered how forward Sheldon had become on being intimate with her. That, nonetheless, did not spare her from the lecture on alcohol consumption that concluded their otherwise sweet morning.

They decided to meet at an earlier time for dinner with their friends so they would have time to talk about the status of their relationship. The hours passed by quickly for both of them as they hurriedly finished their scheduled chores in their excitement to be with each other again.

At five in the afternoon, Amy found herself back at Sheldon's place again.

"Hello, Amy," Sheldon greeted her. He was talking with somebody on the computer when she arrived. He gestured for her to sit beside him on the couch and turned his laptop to her direction.

"Beverly, this is my girlfriend Amy." He said, proudly as always. "Amy, this is Beverly, Leonard's mother."

"Oh, hello Dr. Hofstadter. It's nice to meet you," she said.

"Dr. Fowler." Beverly responded, adjusting her glasses. "I've read many of your works in neurobiology."

"Thank you," she said.

"Why? I don't know why you should thank me for reading your work." Beverly said. "Anyway, not that Sheldon needs my opinion on who he chooses to pair-bond with, unlike that son of mine of course with his baffling desire for validation, I think, based on the quality of your scientific work, that the two of you possess promising genetic material for the reproduction of intellectually superior offsprings."

"That's what we thought too, even before we entered in a romantic relationship," Sheldon said, enthusiastically.

"However," Beverly said, "given your age, I suggest you start procreating as soon as possible. I sense based on your body language that you haven't consummated the relationship?"

"Ahm," Sheldon was speechless; Amy looked blankly at the screen.

"Just as I thought. Very well, now is as good a time as any. Good bye," she said and ended the call.

Sheldon closed his laptop and faced her. "That was unexpected but…isn't she wonderful?"

Amy had known about Leonard's mother for a while. But, meeting her for the first time cemented her idea that Beverly was indeed very much like Sheldon. She thought, as Sheldon said to his mother before, that she was the most similar to him that he had ever met but actually it was Beverly. A thought occurred to her as she looked at him.

"She is indeed wonderful, Sheldon...Suppose you met someone like Beverly, perhaps a younger version of her, before you met me, do you think you and I would have still ended up together?"

Sheldon smirked at her. "That is a pointless endeavor, Amy."

"Come on, just humor me," she said.

"Alright. I most likely would've found that person interesting and would probably spend some time with her," he said, thinking.

"Uh-uh, continue," she urged him, although she was starting to feel a little terrified at the thought all of a sudden.

"Let's see, then Howard and Raj would set me up to meet you. Hmmm, I'd say we'd still end up together," he said dismissively.

"Why? You jumped to the conclusion right away," Amy complained.

Sheldon sighed. "Amy, I have met all kinds of women. Smart ones, comic book and sci-fi fans, academics but none of them really engaged my romantic interest. In fact, I never felt the need to be romantically involved with anyone until I met you."

"It's different though, someone like Beverly would be so much like you. More similar to you than I am," Amy said.

"You didn't let me finish." Sheldon interrupted her. "As I said, that person would no doubt interest me on an intellectual level—

"But that's how we started," she said, cutting him off again.

"Yes, and that's where my relationship with this hypothetical person would end. A person like that, like me would be very afraid of change, whatever bond we form will not progress. After some time, there'd be no learning, no personal growth. It would be boring. If I want to be in a relationship with someone like me, I think I'd prefer to be alone than share my life with a second-rate copy of me.

"What I'm saying is as much as I am scared with the changes you have gone through over the years, I also love it. We may have been more similar in the beginning than we are now but I like you all the more for it. You make me re-think my ways. You make me better. You make everything better."

Amy was about to cut him off again but he raised his hand to stop her.

"You know what? It's also more than that. There are other inexplicable things. The way my organs behave erratically when I see you smile, when I hear your voice, even when I smell you and that dandruff shampoo of yours. Your eyes, your hair, that pale skin. No one else will ever possess the right combination of the things that I love about you. That scenario you're postulating is just impossible." he paused and looked longingly at her.

"I see what you're trying to do here. You want me to explain love. The chemistry and all the biology of it is quite simple but the social aspects of it is quite complicated, my dear. I know I am a brilliant man but let's leave the dissection of love to those hippies in the humanities, shall we? And I am telling you, even those social scientist find the phenomenon baffling."

The answer left Amy speechless. She smile and leaned onto him. "Have I told you that I love you?" she said.

"You did, last night. You even asked me to remind you but I figured that if you really do, you'll say it again anyway," he said as he extended her arms to her. She playfully slapped his arm but proceeded to cuddle with him.

"So what is it that we have to talk about?" she said.

"I just wanted a definitive answer from you. That termination notice…

"Is void now," she continued.

"Thank you," he said and kissed the top of her head. "Now would you consider putting a penal clause in the relationship agreement in the event one of us runs away again. You know, since we're both proven flight risks?"

"No need for that. I think we both learned our lesson," she muttered. "I think I'd settle for a promise though."

"What promise?"

"That we will stay together even when things get tough and scary. That we will go through things together no matter what," Amy said.

Sheldon nodded. "That is a reasonable request. I promise to do all that. I will also add that text in the relationship agreement."

"Of course." Amy laughed. "I give you my word too."

"One last thing. I just want you to know that I really love waking up in the morning with you" Sheldon said, looking intently at her. "Amy, will you move in with me?"

"Yes." She smiled and kissed him passionately on the lips.


	20. Chapter 20

**Epilogue**

It had been three weeks since Penny and Leonard's wedding. They moved in to the next door apartment while Amy moved in with Sheldon. They were talking about the couple's just-concluded honeymoon and arguing whose idea it was for the gang to pay for Leonard and Penny's trip to Paris.

"Oh, Howard, you are very forgetful. It was I, the only true romantic in this group, who first conceived of the idea. That is why Leonard, Penny, the two of you should be most thankful to me," Raj said.

"Yeah, I remember that, too," Emily agreed with her partner.

"Well, well. The two of you must have suffered from brain lesions. It was me and my husband who searched the internet and arranged the details of the trip before we presented the plan to you." Bernie said. "All that wedding excitement must have induced some sort of forgetfulness in this group. So, I believe that gives us the right to choose the location for our vacation next year."

Sheldon walked in from the kitchen and decided to settle the issue. He took his spot next to Amy and said, "Ladies, Gentlemen. On May 15 of this year at exactly 8:31 pm in this apartment, Penny said that her ideal honeymoon location is Paris, if they only have the money. So, in fact, the idea came from Penny originally which we all picked up and funded. If anyone should be entitled to pick the location of our vacation next year, using that idea as the criteria, then Penny should have the rights."

Penny squealed with delight. "Yes! I know this is gonna end up in my favor. I told you honey newly-weds are lucky. I'm so excited to plan our little adventure," she said, hugging Leonard.

"I must say, I'm relieved too. At least there'll be no murder mystery along the road," Leonard said.

"Fine. I concede," Raj said. "Sheldon that memory of yours is really irritating sometimes."

"Only sometimes?" Howard said and they all laughed.

Amy moved closer to Sheldon and said, "If you die and donate your body to science, you have to promise to give your brain to me so I could cut it open and see your wirings."

Sheldon raised his eyebrow at her. "Oh Amy didn't you read our updated agreement? Section 56-c bodily scientific exploitation after cessation of life. My brain has no other place to go but your lab and your adept hands."

The rest of the group listened amusedly as they continue their conversation.

"I suppose that will be delivered with the rest of your body?" Amy inquired.

"Don't be silly. Where else will they put it? Dead or alive this body is yours now." the physicist said.

"Boy, I have a feeling this is about to get creepy," Bernie whispered to her husband.

The conversation apparently was not yet over as Amy replied to Sheldon: "Thank you, examining your brain will surely give me a great deal of intellectual satisfaction."

Sheldon replied with a sexy smile. "That will satisfy me as well, if I ever succeed in doing time travel I will visit you so we can discuss our findings. In the meantime, I suppose we have to satisfy ourselves with external, superficial explorations."

"I concur," said the neurobiologist.

"They're flirting now, aren't they?" Bernie said, loudly this time.

"Oh sweetie, I think that's foreplay. We better go," Penny replied.

They all got up and hurriedly left the apartment, leaving Sheldon and Amy who simply nodded to acknowledge their goodbyes. Howard was the last one to leave. As he closed the door, he saw the two staring intensely at each other.

"Oh I wish we didn't leave," Howard said as he stepped out into the corridor.

"I agree, that would be interesting," Raj remarked. The rest vehemently shook their heads in disagreement to his statement.

"Aren't you a little curious about how two robots are gonna do it?" Howard pressed further.

"I bet they'd need a different kind of lubricant," Raj said, laughing as they walked down the stairs.

**THE END**

_[I know the Epilogue is a little off but that's just because I wrote it ahead of all the other chapters (right after I made chapter 1 actually) and I really want to put it in. I just like to think that even though their relationship had acquired some conventional elements to it at some point in this story, their love remains unique in a lot of ways. Thanks for reading!]_


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